For 46 years I have slept alone. I have often eaten dinner standing over the kitchen sink. I have sometimes gone to movies alone and traveled alone, and (I know it’s pathetic!) I have never put up a Christmas tree! But when God Surprised Me a few weeks ago, He answered a prayer I have lifted up for more than two decades for Him to bring me a godly mate. On March 30, I got engaged to my best friend and will—finally!—marry on Sept. 6.
I am so thankful for His love, not just because He brought me someone to walk home to heaven with, but because He has always lavished His grace on me every day of my life.
But I didn’t always feel that way.
I have to admit that in faithless moments, being single made me feel overlooked by my Lord. I mean, how many times can one girl be a bridesmaid?! But I am happy to report that over the last year I have developed a new perspective on flying solo. I now see singleness as a very precious gift that has pressed me into desperate and narrow places. It has created many needs I could only throw on Jesus because I didn’t have a man.
“Lord, I need help paying my rent! Please provide!”
“God, I am lonely. Please wrap Your arms around me right now.”
“Lord, my heart is so broken. Please heal me.”
“Jesus, I need a friend. Please bring me one.”
“God, please heal my body. I have been sick for too long.”
And finally, “Lord, I am moving again! Please provide some men with muscles and at least one of them with a truck!”
Desperation is a glorious gift that often drives us to our knees and into the arms of the Savior. It’s a door that opens us up to the Divine so we can see His glory!
I have witnessed God’s glory too many times to count, not in spite of my singleness but because of it. Desperation has opened the door to the Divine in my life. I wouldn’t trade the intimacy singleness has created between my Lord and me even for the best man in the world—even though I love that man a lot!
Do you have a prayer that has been denied? Are you in a desperate place? “Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7) Then, praise Him that your need is a gift that is pushing you closer to the Lover of your soul so you can see His glory!
