God longs to connect with you.
...Because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace (Luke 1:78-79).
God's Word promises, "Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning" (Ps. 30:5). You are sure it's past due to be morning already. It's hard to let him be in charge of the whys, hows, and whens. You only know what you think you want.
You: "I'm numb. Where am I? Where did I go?"
God: "I long for you to be quiet, refresh yourself in me, and let me take the poison out. Quiet your soul in me and let your spirit hear and receive from me the healing that you need. Then you can become the beautiful new treasure that I have in mind."
You: (Still not getting the message) "Where are you? I feel disconnected and shut down. In my devotional time, I can't connect with you like I want to (or used to). Why?"
God: "I am near. In fact, I am here with you now. I am in you. Just rest in me. Whisper my name. Sit with me and let me love you. It is enough."
You: (Not yet acknowledging the compulsive nature of your former works, even those "in Jesus' name," like quiet time, Bible study, your ministry, etc.) "How long? When will you let me feel reconnected with life?"
God: "I want you connected to me, not life as you know it, not a ministry, not a group. Connect with me in that deep-calls-to-deep place. Let me gently confront any arrogance or demanding tone. It's O.K. to want more, not O.K. to demand it." Or his answer may be silence: He may not say a word, because he is doing a new thing, so honor his right to choose if you reconnect with life as you knew it, and how and when you can feel again.
You: "Soften my heart. Let me glimpse new levels of true communion with you, Holy Spirit."
God: "I long for you more than you long for me. Trust me."
Isaiah spoke of mounting up with wings as an eagle. We are told that when an eagle feels toxic, it sits high on a rock above all his enemies and lets the glory of the sun do its work. The psalmist talked of the rock that is higher than all his enemies. When the eagle is molting and in a weakened condition, it takes the time to let God's sun renew it while it gets new feathers to soar higher. It also goes to the high rock when it has eaten something contaminated. When your human spirit is drained of God's rest, take time out and let God's tender mercy shine into your soul. Get outside and sit in the sun, feel the breeze, and maybe look at some water, a lake, stream, or even a fountain.
John Piper says, "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him." Will you find your well of satisfaction, your fountain of life, in him? The hymn "Moment By Moment" is an affirmation that Jesus never leaves or forsakes you. Here are the words.
Dying with Jesus, by death reckoned mine;
Living with Jesus, a new life divine;
Looking to Jesus till glory doth shine,
Moment by moment, O Lord, I am Thine.
Moment by moment I'm kept in His love;
Moment by moment I've life from above;
Looking to Jesus till glory doth shine;
Moment by moment, O Lord, I am thine.
Never a trial that He is not there,
Never a burden that He doth not bear,
Never a sorrow that He doth not share,
Moment by moment, I'm under His care.
Never a heartache and never a groan;
Never a teardrop and never a moan;
Never a danger but there on the throne,
Moment by moment He thinks of His own.
Never a weakness that He doth not feel,
Never a sickness that He cannot heal;
Moment by moment, in woe or in weal,
Jesus my Savior abides with me still.
(Daniel W. Whittle, 1893)
Commit to him, "Moment by moment, Lord, I am yours."