Choose Love


Karen Stubbs explains what to do when you put your husband's needs above your own but then realize that he is not doing the same for you.

Galatians 2:20

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.

Marriage pushes us to our limits as a woman. How is it possible to love a person so much and get so angry with them at the same time? In marriage, for it to be successful, you must put your spouse’s needs above your own. But I know that is so hard to do in real life. The problem arises when you realize that your husband is not putting your needs before his and that makes us mad. We then develop the mindset of, “If he, then I.” If he loves me, I will love him or if he changes then I will change… but this way of thinking is devastating in a marriage. We will find ourselves in a crazy cycle of sarcasm, anger, un-forgiveness, bitterness and blame.

How do you break out of the cycle? You begin to take responsibility for your part in your marriage and you realize the only thing you can control is yourself.  Our mindset needs to be, “I will love you regardless of if you love me, and I will change regardless of if you will change.” You can only have this mindset by realizing that you cannot but Christ can do it through you. You are human and your selfish way will always bump up against this way of thinking. But, God can do it through you. You have been crucified with Christ and His love lives in you, if you will submit to Him. Your prayer needs to be, “God, I cannot love my husband the way I should unless You are loving him through me. Fill me with Your love and help me to love the way You love me.”



Thank You for my husband. I do love him even though he can make me so mad at times. Father, I need to take my eyes off of trying to change my husband and put my eyes on You. You will guide my steps; You will fill me with Your love and Your grace. Thank You for always loving me.

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