You and Me, Babe
So come, therefore, and let us consult together. Nehemiah 6:7
There have been times in my marriage when I (Teresa) wanted to run to a friend for a quick fix on a problem. But God has led me to seek His Word and my husband's counsel before I seek counsel from another.
Unfortunately, it is easy for wives to fall into the trap of running to a pastor or friend first when a spiritual matter arises. Instead of asking their husbands to pray with them, they tend to call a friend. Even where the kids are concerned, women don't tend to seek their husbands' counsel.
Seeking counsel outside the marriage can lead to further distance between two spouses. That's because God's plan for two becoming one (see Genesis 2:24) includes the spiritual oneness of joint discernment—meaning finding the mind of God together. An atmosphere of trust and intimacy emerges when we lovingly challenge our spouses to give us their counsel and then receive and act on it.
One of the ways the evil one stole the potential and blessing of this in mine and David's marriage was to distract me into seeking counsel first from others. In an effort to build my case for presentation to David, I often collected the advice and "evidence" from many others. This would cause him to feel left out of the process and less important than those I had consulted, and conflicts followed. We came to realize that the conflicts were more about my process of seeking counsel than about the counsel itself. The Holy Spirit began to show me the depth of David's hurt, and repentance followed.
I believe God wants me to seek my husband's counsel first. When I do, God then challenges David to be the husband it is in him to be.
What steps can you take today to make sure that you turn to your spouse first for counsel?
Father, remind me to involve my spouse as a source of counsel.