Every turn that I made was met with a stinging reminder that I had lost. I was enshrouded by the thick blackness of discouragement, doubt, and disappointment. No matter how long I dwelt in lies that comforted my pain, I couldn’t dodge the reality that on the surface I lost.
I lost to him. I lost to her. I lost to them. I lost to it.
We have all experienced a reality that displaces our cherished dreams and jars our precious desires and ideals. We have all been touched by disappointments that have blotted our life’s canvas with hurt that resulted from infidelity, rejection, abuse, and betrayal. We have experienced, in public or private ways, moments where we felt like losers.
Saul, the zealous religious god, was familiar with the bitter taste of loss.
One day, as he traveled near to Damascus to persecute Christians, a bright light shone on him and he fell to the earth and heard a voice saying to him:
“Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me?" And he said, "Who art thou, Lord?" And the Lord said, "I am Jesus whom thou persecutest; it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks." (Acts 9: 3-5)
The booming voice of God and the intensity of the light birthed terror in the hearts of Saul’s companions. Saul however, understood that it was God Himself speaking to him and lay stricken on the ground. "And he (Saul), trembling and astonished, said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do? And the Lord said unto him, Arise and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou must do." (Acts 9: 5)
When Saul arose from the ground, he found that he had gained a deeper revelation of God but he had lost his sight. Saul blindly groped around on the ground and his companions had to lead him by hand to Damascus. Saul, in that encounter, was helpless, blind and vulnerable. He lost his power and encountered the Sovereignty of God.
Saul was taken to the house of Judas where, for three days, he was blind. During his period of loss, he reflected, repented and realized God’s plan for his life. When Saul regained his sight by the touch of Ananias, he thereafter began preaching for the cause of Christ under a new name, Paul.
Paul had to lose his everything to gain God’s blessing.
Today, though our fears, tears and hurt may blind us, God is still able to reveal Himself in our seasons of loss; He is also able to reveal the dark seeds, habits and darling sins in our lives. God is able to heal the brokenhearted and bind up our wounds (Psalm 147: 3). Jesus is able to touch the core of our aching hearts, illuminate our darkness and reveal our ignorance.
Maybe like Paul, we all have to lose something at our core being to gain something else that can't be taken away on this earth. Maybe this season is to be endured and not solved. Maybe this season is meant to discipline and not discourages us. Maybe this season of groping in emotional and spiritual darkness is meant to bless and not break us. Maybe in this season, God is redefining our understanding of peace, joy and love. Maybe this season is God’s method of saving us from the road of destruction or personal demise.
Be reminded that for every “broken ideal” and “crushed dream,” for every person who walked away, abandoned us or “left too soon,” for every situation where we felt like losers…there is a faithful God who is in the thick of things, on the scene, in the fray…working faithfully to mend our hearts, give us a new name and identity and usher us into grace, opportunity, growth and purpose.
Today, I am wiping my tears for I believe that I have everything to gain from my temporary loss. I am exchanging my broken pieces for God’s blessed peace. I am choosing to reflect on the situation, repent of my mistakes and remain perfectly still so that God can show me the lesson in this season of loss. I am declaring that with God, even when I “lose” I am winning.
Would you make this your winner’s declaration too?
Written by Dentrecia
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