Why Should You Live Happily with Your Wife?
“I have a hard time believing” said an individual, “that our loving God would have created marriage and not wanted us to be ‘happy’ with our life partners! I just wanted to know what your thinking on that was.”
GOD COMMANDS HAPPINESS
I have great news for husbands! In Ecclesiastes 9:9 we observe God commanding a husband to enjoy life with his wife. “Live happily with the woman you love… The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil” (NLT).
Why enjoy life with your wife? God commands it!
But how can God command you to live happily? Isn’t that impossible? Isn’t that like commanding you to jump up into the air and hang there for 10 minutes? Is commanding happiness comparable to mandating someone to defy gravity?
Not at all.
HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE
God’s command in Ecclesiastes 9:9 is to be obeyed. Obedience is the result of choice. Thus, His command reveals your freedom to choose happiness.
RESEARCH REVEALS WE GOVERN 40% OF OUR HAPPINESS
The best research reveals that 40% of our life can be happy as a result of choosing happiness. Though 50% is genetics and 10% is due to life circumstances, we govern a whopping 40% of our pleasure, contentment, and joy.
God commands because we can!
THIS HAPPINESS IS WITHIN THE MARRIAGE
In stating that God commands happiness I am not referring to the husband who announces, “God wants me happy so I am divorcing my wife.” That’s comparable to teaching, “God wants all of us selfish so proceed with sinful indulgences.”
God wants nothing of the sort.
Instead, I am addressing the husband who concludes, “There is no way on God’s green earth that I can ever be happy with this woman.” That perspective is wrong, as was Oscar Wilde when he wrote, “A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her.”
GOD WILLS YOU TO BE HAPPY
Given your wife possesses good will (she is not an evil willed woman planning on leaving you and/or committing adultery) you can “live happily with the woman you love” (Ecclesiastes 9:9). God wills your well-being in matrimony.
This is why within five years 80% of those who were very unhappy – the most discontented in their marriage - became happy!
WHEN YOU OBEY, GOD MAKES A WAY
A person writes, “We are happier than we have been in a long, long time. To say we are happy sounds so trite. It is so much more than that. We are both Christians and we realize there was a lot of disobedience on both sides, which contributed to how we felt. God has so richly blessed our relationship because we have chosen to be obedient to Him.”
Obedience includes getting happy! Judy Garland made famous the song:
- Because you are free to choose happiness in obedience to God, when and where will you choose to be happy instead of cynical and gloomy? What will that look like, in your opinion?
- Where are you choosing to be unhappy in your marriage? How will you change this?
God joined you together (Matthew 19:6) as friends (Song of Solomon 5:1) and companions (Malachi 2:14) for a life time (Romans 7:2).
A day is coming when He will honor your obedience to Ecclesiastes 9:9.
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