Why'd You Have to Go There?


Everyone will face hurt in their relationships. Learn how you can resolve these hurts when they appear.

Why is it that we get nasty with the ones we love the most? Because we care the most about them! We tend to hurt those who we love the most because we have so much invested in the relationship and it really hurts when reality does not match our expectations.

Do not be surprised when your spouse, child, or loved one really wounds you. This is a normal part of any relationship. It does not mean you need to find another spouse, child, or loved one because they hurt you, what it means is that you need to learn how to resolve the hurt. Resolution is an important part of any significant relationship. But I see too many people quit on their relationship when the going gets tough. Expect difficulties; they are coming. However, understand that they are not going to break you; they are going to make you stronger.

If resolution is important, than hopefully you are now asking yourself, “Then how do I resolve hurts?” Excellent questions. Check out these tips to resolving hurt and try them out (you won’t have to wait too long to try them):

Be honest: Things will never get resolved if you never share the hurt. You might be an avoider like me, and so being honest is a big part in beginning the resolution process. If your significant other does not know you are hurting, then it can never get resolved. So be honest and share how you were hurt, and share your feelings humbly.

Be patient: Take time in resolving your hurt. Things, especially really big things, do not just go away immediately. Some wounds simply need time to heal, and that is okay. You can also be patient just by allowing time for the other person to get on the resolution train with you. Do not rush healing, but allow it to grow and be nourished.

Be gracious: If you hold a grudge and take on a judgmental attitude with someone who’s hurt you, then the healing process is going to take a long time. Grace is given to you from Jesus with the expectation that you will then pass it on to others. Even if you do not hear exactly what you wanted to hear, receive the effort to apologize with a graceful attitude.

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