Where's Her Heart?


In order to love your wife as Christ loves the church, you must take the time to learn the daily desires of her heart.

I had lunch with one of “my guys” the other day. It was our “one on one” to get to know each other. He toured me around his office, introduced me to his partners, and totally blew me away with how smart and competent he was. But at lunch, when we started talking about marriage, the conversation turned a little stiff. Finally, I asked him this question regarding his wife.

“Do you know where her heart is?”

A long silence followed.

Then it hit me. “Do I know where MY wife’s heart is?” I mean today, this week, right now.

My group had a discussion at our last meeting about the definition of the word “heart” as it’s used in Scripture. Lately I’ve been substituting the word “desire” whenever I read the word “heart” and it’s been very revealing. Like when I read Psalm 51:10 which says, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me”.  Instead, I’m reading “Create in me pure desires, O God”. It’s clarifying. He helps me. I can be intentional in a more immediate way.

So when I ask myself, “Do I know where my wife’s desires are?”, it’s a clearer question. How can I love my wife “as Christ loved the church” and not know where her “heart” is or what she really desires today, right now?

And we’re not talking cars or jewelry here. We’re talking, “What does she want in her life that I’m not giving her?”  Could it be more focused time, or help with the kids, or help around the house, or the support she needs as she deals with her sick mother or grandmother?

Do you know where your wife’s heart is?  Do you know what she desires from you?

Find out.


Question: Do you know where your wife’s heart is?



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