When I (Finally) Dropped to My Knees
It was early in my business career. Our start up venture was a little over two years old. We had opened our first expansion city office, and it was awful. Wrong market, wrong people, wrong location, wrong tactics, wrong everything!
On a flight with our chairman and our attorney, it became immanently clear that we were in trouble. We were running out of money, the prospects for raising more equity were abysmal, and there were no lenders in sight. After we landed and arrived at our hotel, I walked to my room with the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I had made the decision to expand rapidly; I picked the city; I had hired the general manager… I was the one who had let everybody down. I had never been a CEO before…who was I kidding? They should have picked somebody else for this job. Maybe if I step aside, they can salvage the company somehow.
As the elevator climbed toward my floor, the thought crossed my mind “You haven’t had a quiet time in two weeks. You have been “blowin’ & goin” and you have spent “zero” time with God.
I walked into the dark room, laid down my suit bag and without even turning on the lights, I dropped to my knees by the bed. I was ready to say “I’m so sorry, Lord”….but before I could say anything, the following words appeared in my mind’s eye. “You are in the center of My will for your life right now.” God knew my heart…he already knew my need and my prayer! I got cold chills all over my body. I was speechless!
I tried to go ahead and pray, but it was useless. I had finally humbled myself before Him, and He had responded. I got up, brushed my teeth, and went to bed. I slept like a baby!
A few days later, our largest supplier announced a 13.3% price reduction, retroactive to a date several months back. The company was instantly cash flow positive. The turnaround had nothing to do with management talent, wise decision-making, or extraordinary negotiating skill. It was totally about grace.
I wrote this prayer in my journal shortly thereafter…
“Thank you for being in charge of my business, and for never taking a day off. I know that I can trust You with the outcome of things, no matter how bad they may look to be at the time. And thank you for forgiving me when I “drift off” and forget about You. I want to be your disciple, to be a “learner and follower” of Jesus. Please do whatever it takes to get and keep my attention, and to keep me on the path with Your Son. In His name I pray. Amen”
Question: Your wife? Your girlfriend? Your kids? Your job? What are you worshiping right now?