What Should I Do with These Feelings?
Many of you have asked us what you should do about your feelings toward guys.
I could almost feel the ache in comments like this one from Ellie:
Why did [God] create me with so many feelings and emotions? I fall in love so easily. . . . How do I get free from this one-sided infatuation? Church is supposed to be a place of refuge, yet every time I see him there, I have to battle with emotions I really don’t want to deal with. It distracts me from Jesus. I don’t know what to do.
Been there. Done that!
For all the Ellies out there who have ever tried to wrestle their romantic feelings to the ground and found themselves pinned to the mat, here’s hope from God’s Word.
Feelings Aren’t Bad
I have a male friend who says that when girls get together, they’re gonna cry. I have to admit, I’m guilty as charged, especially if there is a good chick flick playing. We girls tend to be more emotional than our male counterparts. In fact, did you know that women cry an average of 5.3 times a month? Guys, on the other hand, only boohoo about 1.4 times a month. It’s scientific fact! Sometimes girls need to burst into tears.
Did you know that God has emotions too? The Bible tells us that God gets . . .
- Angry (Deut. 1:37, Ex. 32:10).
- Distressed (Isa. 63:9).
- Grieved (Eph. 4:30).
- Pleased (1 Kings 3:10).
- Glad (Zeph. 3:17).
- Moved to pity (Judg. 2:18).
Genesis 6:6 points out that God is capable of having His heart broken. In Jeremiah 48:31God wails and cries over the sins of the people of Moab. John 11:35 records that “Jesus wept” when He found Lazarus dead.
We are designed to reflect God. Our emotions mirror His. I’m not saying God has mood swings or that we should express everything we feel and then claim, “I’m just being like God!” Our emotions are subject to sin, and God’s are not. The Bible does warn us against the danger of expressing our emotions without self-control (more on that in a minute), but the emotional side of you is good for more than just inducing chocolate cravings. Our emotions point to a God who is not an unfeeling robot. Nope! He feels and responds deeply.
Feelings Aren’t Facts
While it’s okay to feel deeply, we must keep in mind that feelings aren’t facts. Just because you feel . . .
- like you’ll be single forever
- like he might be “the one”
- like you’ll never get over the heartbreak of a bad breakup
- like there’s no way you can stay pure
- like you can’t go on without that guy
Doesn’t mean that any of that is true.
When your feelings are in contradiction with God’s Word and will for your life, you need to ask Him for self-control.
Proverbs 25:28 says, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.”
When we lose control of ourselves and give life to every feeling, we leave ourselves defenseless. That’s how our hearts get broken.
But here’s something I wish I had known sooner—self-control isn’t something I have to drum up for myself. God gives it to us as fruit of His Holy Spirit (Gal. 5:23).
Ask God to help you control yourself when your feelings go haywire.
Feelings Are An Offering
Philippians 4:6–7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
What is the antidote to all of that romantic anxiety?
- Supplication (That’s a fancy word for request).
Turn your worries, your fantasies, your anxiety over to the Lord. Offer it to Him. But don’t stop there!
The rest of the passage says, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you” (vv. 8–9).
Surrender your feelings to God and then be about the business of focusing on and modeling Him.
Written by Erin Davis
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