What She Needs to Hear


Let your daughter know that she is beautiful... that no matter what body shape she has, what her skin is doing right now, or what the tag number on her jeans is, she is beautiful.

Family reunions typically mean family pictures.  At least in our family.  No matter the size or date of the gathering, families will line up for pictures with Grandma, siblings pile in together, and so on.  We love family pictures.

As we watch a slide show of family pictures flash across the screen, she says, “Look at me, I am so fat,” and “Oh I hate that picture of me!”  My heart breaks.  This beautiful, tall, athletic young lady with long, flowing blonde hair and bright blue eyes just said things about herself that are untrue.  Yes, as her mother, I think she is the most beautiful fifteen year old out there.  But even more than that, I know that she was made by the hands of the Creator of the universe.  A loving Craftsman who put her together just so.

"For you created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb." Psalm 139:13

How many times do we look in the mirror or at a photograph and complain about what we see?  Women of all ages and cultures struggle with self image.  However, when a teenage girl is going through changes physically and emotionally, those struggles seem to magnify.  They are unsure of what is going on in their body.  They feel awkward.  And as mothers, we are not much help when we are complaining about our own size, shape, and looks.  How can our daughter think she is beautiful when her mother is saying horrible things about herself?  Sister, God made you.  He made you on purpose, for a purpose.  It is unfair to expect your daughter to see her beauty when you don’t see yours.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."  Psalm 139:14

How can you help her self image?

Tell her she is beautiful.  Tell her often.  Say it face to face, leave her notes, write it on her Facebook.  Just tell her how beautiful she is.

Point her to the Word of God that shows our Father created her.  {Psalm 139:13-14}

Go on walks or bike rides together.  When we are more active, we tend to feel better about our self.  Simply say “I would like to spend some time with you, how about a walk?”

Watch what you say about yourself. Never put yourself down or complain about your looks or weight.  If you are unhappy with your weight, just be more active.

Be very careful what you allow on tv and what she reads in magazines.  The world will tell her {and you} that you need to be a certain size or look a certain way  before you can be beautiful.  That is a lie of the enemy!

Let your daughter know that she is beautiful.  That no matter what body shape she has, what her skin is doing right now, or what number is on the tag in her jeans, she is  beautiful.

Written by Jenifer Metzger

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