I’m not allowed to watch romantic comedies.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s not much I enjoy more than curling up with a container of cookie dough and my fav chick flick, How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days (which is ironic since I’d be far more interested in learning what it takes to keep a guy around…).
Thing is, as much as I love them, they’re just not worth the trade-off: two hours of gushy entertainment for a night of wrestling against lust simply because my reality can’t compete with my fantasy.
Think it’s all in my head? You’d be right, since the brain’s deep limbic system is the primary sex organ. Believe it or not, viewing romantic media content affects your brain. Dannah’s research for one of her books led her to discover a biological component in exposure to romantic film content. (Ever watched a romantic movie with sexual nuances and then found yourself craving your/a husband?) Both men and women viewers experienced changes in progesterone and testosterone levels, indicating that media content alters the endocrine environment and hormones, at least temporarily.
So for me, all that stuff is girl porn.
Maybe it’s a stretch to compare chick flicks and romance novels to porn. Or maybe not. Beth Spraul believes that whereas porn targets men visually, the lies told to women are introduced emotionally. She says that things like chick flicks and ‘chick-lit’ “take a good gift from God [romance, relational intimacy] that women are created to desire, and distort it…And just like men buy into the lies of pornography, women who believe their husbands and marriages should always be like what they see on the screen will be sinfully dissatisfied with God’s good gift to them of a ‘normal’ husband and marriage.”
Problem is that girl porn leaves my body aroused but my heart unsatisfied. It has nothing to do with real love or real sex. No knowing, seeking, or respecting. Just the physical. Just me and my gratification. Just a counterfeit. Lust takes. Love gives.
Do you struggle with girl porn? Are you exposing yourself to romantic content (movies, TV, books, music, conversation) that leaves you dissatisfied? Pulling you further away from your husband instead of closer to him? Causing you to fantasize or masturbate? Doesn’t matter if you’re single, married, or a mom. The Enemy uses the same tricks.
So I don’t let myself watch chick flicks.
I want the real thing.
Written by: Jacqueline Gardner
