What a Guy Wants in a Girl


Pastor Jeff Jones shares what he thinks guys are and aren't looking for in girls.

"And the LORD God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him,'" (Gen 2:18, NKJV).

I want to talk to you single girls on what we guys are looking for in a girl—what we like and what we don’t like. Now, I’m no expert on this subject, but having been married to my best friend for nearly twenty-five years, and raising two amazing, exceptionally gifted, intelligent, beautiful girls gives me a little bit of a platform to speak from.

So, let me start by telling you what we’re not looking for.

(1) We’re not looking to be the center of your world. There is nothing more attractive to a guy then knowing that his girl loves Jesus way more than she’ll ever love him. I’m not saying that we’re not looking to be loved; we’re just looking for proper perspective. Because if we ever become the center of your world, then both our worlds are going to get way out of whack real quick. Let’s call it a “whack-attack.” Here’s the deal, it’s not our role to be the center of your universe; only Jesus can be that and until He is, you’ll be looking for some yahoo to complete you, and he can’t. Colossians says, “and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power,” (Colossians 2:10, NKJV).

(2) We’re not looking for someone we can run over. Girls, don’t ever let us dishonor you or treat you crummy. You are way too valuable for that. Too many of you girls let us guys mistreat you. Hold your ground and when your guy does something or says something that hurts you, don’t unload your frustration on your girlfriends, unload on us. Really, we’re going to get all ticked off at first, but if we really want to have a healthy, God-honoring relationship with you, then in the end we’ll appreciate it. A lot of times we’ll say things, do things that will hurt or offend you that we’re just clueless about. Now I’m not saying that we’re dumb, we’re just not girls. Remember we’re the guys that will punch our best friend in the face one minute and then go play catch the next.

So, what are we looking for in a girl?

(1) We’re looking for someone to accept us for who we are. Listen, God never intended for us to be compared to your dad, your last boyfriend, or even your roommate’s cute brother. We’re all different. So, celebrate our strengths with us and don’t keep pointing out our weaknesses. And please, please, please, don’t try to change us, leave that up to the One who created us.

(2) We’re looking for someone who likes to do the things we like to do. Sure in any relationship there are compromises, but if your guy likes to fish, it wouldn't hurt for you to learn to like it, too. I love to ride motorcycles, and so it was always fun for me to have Beth ride on the back of my bike. But a few years ago I convinced her to learn to ride a bike herself, and now she has her own Harley. I can’t really explain it, but her effort to learn to do something that I like really means a lot to me, and makes me feel closer to her.

(3) We’re looking for someone who will keep us in check physically. So, you need to know a couple of things about us. First, guys are totally visual. So, when we go out with you, please don’t show us too much. No skin to win, if you get my drift. Also, don’t forget that when it comes to sexual temptations, girls are like crock pots, but boys are like microwaves set on full power. We don’t simmer; we go from zero to a hundred in a matter of seconds, so help us say in check. Now I’m not saying don’t look hot, just not too hot!

(4) We’re looking for someone who likes to have fun. We’re not looking for drama. We get plenty of that at the movies. We’re just looking for someone who enjoys life, doesn't take life too seriously, and someone who laughs, a lot. The Bible says that laughter is a like medicine. So, you don’t have to worry so much about your hair, just let it down and have some fun.

(5) Finally, we’re looking for someone who loves Jesus and His church. The church is the hope of the world. And any girl that would be an interest to us is going to have to love Jesus as much as we do, and love His church. So, going to church is not an option, it’s a requirement. If we’re ever going to have a solid, healthy relationship we’re going to need to like going to the same church… together. In Psalm 34:3, it says, Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt His name together (Psalm 34:3, NKJV). Get it? Key word here is “together.”

So what’s the bottom line? If we’ll put Jesus in the center of our lives, He’ll help us guys and girls to have God-honoring, healthy relationships.

Say It: “Father, I want healthy relationships in my life that honor You. Help me to be the kind of person, friend, boyfriend or girlfriend that You want me to be. In Jesus’ Name, amen.”

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