Understanding Her

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How can you show your daughter that you love her and understand her? Jenifer Metzger shares several great suggestions.

Our girls are changing daily.  They are growing from our sweet little pixie-faced princesses to young ladies with ideas and thoughts of their own.  I look at my girls, eleven and fourteen, and see traces of the precious girls in pigtails and bows changing to features of their coming womanhood.

Along with these changes come new attitudes.  Girls learning who they are and what they want.  Girls struggling to find independence, yet a little piece of their heart not quite ready for it.  No matter how much we try to avoid it, soon comes the rolling eyes, head shakes and sometimes sassy attitudes.

We still deeply love our little girl but struggle with knowing how to connect with this new young lady.  We know what she is going through, after all, we were there once too.  We know how she is feeling.  We understand her more than she realizes.  We just have to learn how to show her that we understand.

How can we show her that we love her and understand her?  How can we truly understand her?

Pray for her daily.  Pray for her changing body, mind and spirit.  Pray that she keeps her focus on God and Him alone.

Let her know you are praying for her.  Tell her with your words.  Leave a note on her bathroom mirror.  Send her a text.  Let her know that you are still her praying mom.

Schedule regular dates with your daughter.  It may just be going out for an ice cream cone, taking a walk around the block or do-it-yourself mani/pedis at home with the rest of the family out.  It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money.

Take an interest in what she loves.  If your daughter is into photography, take her on a photography hike around a local park.  If she loves tennis, ask her to play with you.  Taking up an activity she already loves will show her you are paying attention to what she likes and cares about.

When she is having an emotional day {hey, we all have them!}, show her grace.  Speak to her in love.  Think of the things that may calm her, like a nap or walk, and give her that time.

Spend time in the quiet of her bedroom just hanging out and talking.  Be sure to spend just as much time, if not more, listening than you do talking.  Let her pour her heart out to you without fear of being judged or disciplined.

Laugh with her.  Don’t take everything so serious all the time.  Enjoy life and enjoy these years with your daughter.

Always be a listening ear.  Be available to her and make sure she knows you are.  Listen to her, not just to the words she says, but to her heart.

These teenage years are hard enough on a young girl.  As moms, let’s show our daughters that we really do love them and understand what they are going through.  Make these years beautiful and enjoy them.

Written by Jenifer Metzger

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