There’s More to Godliness Than Finding a Mate


Do we follow God in order to find a spouse at church? Or do we follow Him to know Him ourselves, trusting Him to meet our needs?

At some point every single person has been told by a well-meaning friend: “Focus on growing closer to God now so you’ll be ready for your future spouse.”

It’s good advice. I dated someone last spring and wish I’d been closer to God at the start of that relationship. But if the main driver of our desire to seek God is the promise of a future relationship, we’re missing the point.

Do we follow God in order to find a spouse at church, or do we follow God to know Him ourselves, trusting Him to meet our needs (Philippians 4:19)? Sometimes I have trouble trusting God with my desire to be married someday. Yet He has been teaching me about how to be content, and surprisingly, even happy, when I seek Him while I’m still single.

3 Reasons Following Jesus Is Good For You, Not Just Your Future Spouse

1. Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing (Psalm 34:10).

When we’re single, it’s easy to feel like somehow our lives are incomplete, like God is holding back things that would make life full  — sex, regular companionship, parenthood. Psalm 34:10 pierces a hole through that logic.

For example, sometimes I’ll think, “I wish I had a spouse to talk to.” Then, I’ll hear a Bible verse on the radio reminding me that Jesus has already said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).

God wants to thrill and surprise you, meeting you where you are. He is a jealous God, and He wants to outdo any future spouse with His love (Exodus 20:5). Ask Him to show His love in your everyday life, because He longs to fill you until you are content in any and every situation (Philippians 4:12).

2. Putting others first puts our lives in perspective (Philippians 2:3-4).

There are worse things than being single, so put it in perspective. Approximately 1 in 7 American households were “food insecure”  in 2013 (via World Hunger). Christians are dying for their faith at the hands of ISIS, and millions of people around the world still don’t know Jesus.

When we’re single, we have a chance to focus on God’s work that we might not have later on in life. Helping others catches God’s attention, and He richly blesses it (Matthew 25:21). It means less Friday nights alone mourning being single, and more perspective, purpose, and peace.

3. Making the most of every opportunity gives our lives fullness today, not just tomorrow (Ephesians 5:16).

Take the time to work on your finances, your job and yourself as a person. Get involved in a Bible study, invest in relationships and strengthen your faith. Ask God where He would like you to take your next step!

Jesus wants us to have full and abundant life in every season, married or not (John 10:10). A spouse will never complete you as fully as Jesus wants to right now.

By Lindsay Willett


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