The Mystery of Oneness


Being understood by your "better half" creates emotional oneness in your marriage. What can you do today to UNDERSTAND in addition to being UNDERSTOOD?

All of you be of one mind, having compassion. 1 Peter 3:8

Harmony and sympathy come from a sense of feeling connected—emotionally bonded and attached—to another person. We are to enjoy that kind of closeness within the marriage relationship. It is that closeness that allows us to share in our spouse's emotions.

Scripture speaks of Christians being part of one body with Christ as the head and with the Holy Spirit connecting us to one another (see 1 Corinthians 12). We care for one another, and therefore we sympathize when another is sad or hurt.

If we could see into the spirit world, we would likely see each believer "attached" by the Holy Spirit to the head of the church, Jesus Christ. When one part of the body suffers loss, betrayal, or pain, the head is moved with compassion. Then the Holy Spirit touches other parts of the body, moving them with compassion for the hurting.

What if this happened consistently within the marriage relationship? We believe that is how it should be. We are to have this kind of sympathy within marriage as well. The Bible says that in marriage "two become one" (Genesis 2:24). As this oneness deepens, each spouse becomes increasingly sensitive to the emotions of the other. Being understood and identified with emotionally are key ingredients to marital intimacy.

This mystery of connectedness is one of the key reasons we do most of our marriage ministry in sessions with both spouses present. We believe we can help each marriage partner better with the "other half" present. It's also our view that God intends for each spouse to play a vital role in the work of healing and restoration and that a spouse's verbalized sympathy and appreciation will mean more to the spouse than ours will.

What can you do today to promote emotional oneness within your marriage?

Thank You, Father, for the mystery of two becoming one in marriage.

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