The Lies We Believe


Since Satan is intent on destroying healthy sexuality, we must guard our heart by learning the most common lies we believe about sex and marriage.

How the Enemy tries to destroy healthy sexual intimacy

Talking (and writing) about sex can be quite a challenge. Yes, at times it’s awkward to be open about such a sensitive and taboo topic. I feel bad for my teenage sons when their friends ask, “What does your mom do?” But the real challenge is the fact that sexuality is a spiritual minefield. I’ve never experienced in any other ministry the kind of spiritual warfare that surrounds the topic of sexuality.

Our Enemy, Satan, is intent on destroying healthy, God-honoring sexuality. And he’s been largely successful in his schemes. I’ve rarely met a woman that hasn’t been wounded by distorted sexuality in some way, whether it’s a result of sexual abuse or rape, or being trapped in mommy porn or confused about gender identity—these are just a few of the ways Satan takes the gift of sexuality and twists it into a powerful weapon of destruction. Every woman has felt the “secondhand” effects of pornography and prostitution. The female body is objectified and women feel like sexual objects, even within some marriages.

I’ve noticed that Satan’s activity usually plants itself in fears and in lies. Often, the two feed each other. The lies I believe can cause me to live in fear. Teaching God’s perspective of sexuality means helping women recognize and confront lies. I don’t think most women realize the subtle lies they may believe about sexuality. Here are a few of the most common ones:

  • God created sex to be fulfilling primarily for men.
  • I’m abnormal if I want sex more than my husband does.
  • A good Christian woman shouldn’t enjoy sex too much.
  • God doesn’t really heal sexual wounds. I’ll always walk with scars in this area of my life.
  • I’ve made so many mistakes sexually. I need to show God how sorry I am by not enjoying sex in my marriage.
  • Following the world’s recipe for sex is more likely to fulfill me than trusting God’s plan.

These lies can feel far more reliable than the truth. It’s easier to believe the lie that sex is dirty and tainted than to believe the truth that God created sexual intimacy as a holy expression of love. The lie feels truer than the truth. It has often been validated again and again by our experiences.

Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). One of the greatest joys of my ministry is witnessing that God’s truth is more powerful than the bondage of the Enemy’s lies. I have seen women set free when they, by faith, cling to the truths of God: the truth that he is the Healer, the Redeemer, and the Giver of every good gift—including sexuality.

Truth is more than a concept; it is also a person. Jesus claimed, “I am the way, the truth, and the life . . .” (John 14:6, emphasis mine). Our work at authentic intimacy is not just about swapping one set of beliefs for another. We want to bring women to the feet of Jesus in pursuit of truth, healing, and life.

Written by Dr. Juli Slattery

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