The Happy Wife Pledge


When it comes to creating a happy marriage, husbands are in the driver’s seat.

I used to think marriage hinged on picking the right woman. Choose well and you’ll have it made. Then I grew up some and decided it was a 50-50 deal. If my wife and I were “equally yoked,” if we both worked at it and did our parts, we could have a great marriage.

Now I believe it’s almost entirely up to the man. And I can prove it.

Get your Bible out. Put your left hand on it, raise your right hand and repeat the following pledge. It is in front of God, so be serious.

Repeat after me . . .

“My wife is more important than the house being messy. I will shut up and start helping out.”

“I will no longer criticize my wife about how she uses her time. It’s her life to live.”

“I am grateful for a wife who cares about our kids. I will thank her, encourage her, and never allow myself to think I’m unimportant to her.”

“I recognize my wife was her mom’s daughter before she was my wife. She has a right and a responsibility to be a good adult daughter and to ‘honor’ her mother.”

“I will never again complain about the food in our house. Instead, I will offer to stop by the store and bring whatever she needs without complaint.”

“I will never criticize my wife for her desire to be ‘just with me’ versus going out with friends. I will thank her and pour myself into loving her when we’re together.”

“I recognize that my wife gets tired. I will drop all my demands and make ‘space’ for her to rest and I will not take it personally.”

“I acknowledge it’s difficult to identify, screen, and coordinate schedules with babysitters. I will not criticize her nor take her efforts for granted.”

“I will look for the good in my wife’s appearance. If I can’t say something nice, I will keep my mouth shut.”

“I will never again comment on my wife’s weight. That is off-limits to me forever. I will love and accept her regardless. It is none of my business.”

“I will never say anything negative about my wife, even in a joking way, in front of any other person, male or female, friend or foe.”

“I will never again bring up my wife’s performance in earlier parts of her life. For example, I will never talk about how ‘she used to like to dance’ or anything of that nature.”

“I will stop talking about sex. I will make no other comments, jokes, side comments, or criticisms about the frequency, quality, or any other dimension of our sex life. I will love her and we will enjoy sex only when she is clearly in favor of it. I will put her first, be grateful for what comes my way, and be content.”

“I recognize that my family of origin is just that—my family. I will drop my expectations for my wife to engage with my family. I hope she does, but I will not require it of her.”

“I will go through a complete review of our finances. I will make sure she fully understands our income, our budgeted expenses, and our saving & giving commitments. And I will never again criticize her regarding money.”

Live this pledge consistently and you will have a happy wife and a better marriage.


Question: Which part of the pledge will be hardest for you?

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