The Costs of Unforgiveness
“But the king said, ‘He must go to his own house; he must not see my face.’ So Absalom went to his own house and did not see the face of the king … Three sons and a daughter were born to Absalom. The daughter’s name was Tamar, and she became a beautiful woman. Absalom lived two years in Jerusalem without seeing the king’s face.” (2 Samuel 14:24; 27-28, NIV)
It has been five long years since Absalom killed Amnon and fled out of fear. For the last two years, Absalom has lived in Jerusalem, seen the birth of four children and his father David still refuses to see him or his own grandchildren. This family quarrel grew out of David’s sin but was maintained by fear, arrogance and pride.
This story has been played out in countless families since it was written. I have counseled many people who struggle with unforgiveness and the havoc that it brings. The stronghold of unforgiveness played out in my life as well. For the last 5-6 generations, members of both my paternal and maternal family have had a reputation for being quick-tempered and for holding grudges. Unfortunately, this has been the case for both men and women in the family. They wear their anger, hurt and unforgiveness on their chest as if it were a badge of honor. They make excuses for it, tell stories about it and shrug it off.
My grandfather, father, uncles, brothers and nephews have all acted this way. Until recently, I too lived with unforgiveness. Thankfully, through His grace, God has delivered me from this stronghold and destroyed this generational curse. He has taught me much about forgiveness and the power of love to heal and restore. I admit, the journey has not been easy, but God has given me the grace and strength to walk it out. I now encourage my younger brothers to break this curse – before it destroys any more relationships in our family.
Child of God, I encourage you to ask God to show you the strongholds and generational curses that are operating in your family. Pray and surrender these situations to God. Ask for His forgiveness. Next, forgive yourself and others and trust His love to heal and restore your life.
Lord, thank You for loving me unconditionally. Jesus, teach me to copy You and walk in love and forgiveness with others at all times. Remove all traces of unforgiveness, heal and restore my heart and spirit. Through the blood of Jesus and in the name of Jesus I pray, amen.