Swimming in His Promises
“Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles …” 1 Chronicles 16:11-12a
We went to a swimming pool today, and I watched her, the one that used to call me mommy, the one who used to jump headlong into the water, splash, and giggle with her sisters, forget that she knew how to swim. It’s been many months since she’s been to this place... can she remember? Can I remember?
Just like her, a big, broken piece of my flesh is clinging to the side of the pool, longing for the past and the way I thought I wanted life to be. Who is God when we are clinging to the side? He is the one who comes after us, right up to the very edge of our tears and takes our hand and pulls us back to the middle without ever letting go. “Remember, love?” He whispers, “You can swim. I taught you how to swim.” Stiffened in panic and doubt, I relax and lean into Him and the floating comes back easily. The side is not nearly as marvelous as it is out in the middle of the pool, in the middle of risking it all, in the safe embrace of my Savior.
I remember when I wasn’t ready to move to Uganda. I remember when I wasn’t ready to kiss the people I loved the most goodbye. I remember when I didn’t have enough money to sponsor just ten children, and I remember when I wasn’t old enough to be a mother, and I remember when I didn’t know how to parent. I remember when I couldn’t cook for fifteen people and when I didn’t want to share my house and my things and my life with sick people and addicts. I remember when I was afraid of the slum community that now holds hundreds of friends and when I was terrified that my daughter would never walk and when I was scared that we would never heal after tragic loss. And I remember that God kept all His promises, every last one, in His perfect time.
He doesn’t want us to live our lives clinging to the side of the pool, paralyzed. He came to give us life, and life to the full!
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