The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1
We've all heard the saying, "If Mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." I've seen this to be true in our home. When I (Teresa) am critical, or when I tear other people down with my words, I can see the negative attitude in our kids. I've listened to their conversations when I'm that way, and they sound just like I do when I'm being negative or judgmental. By modeling such a critical spirit, it sometimes seems as if I'm "pulling down" all the positive work David and I have done with our kids.
To edify the ones in my home rather than tear them down, I must change my "stinkin' thinkin'." It's hard to edify my husband when my mind is consumed with thoughts such as, I always have to pick up after him. When will he ever grow up? or He'll never change. If we have to wait on him one more time . . .
Such negative and critical thinking is usually the result of my unhealed hurts. When I've let hurts fester, the thoughts I have are going to be negative and critical. To be able to edify, I must in love share the truth of those hurts with David. That would sound like, "Sweetheart, it would mean a lot to me if you could pick up the bathroom by the time our guests arrive" or "David, I was disappointed that we weren't able to have dinner together as a family. I know you were working very hard, but we missed you."
Secondly, I must then turn loose of my anger and choose to forgive David. It's my choice of forgiveness that protects my heart from bitterness and my mind from negative thinking. Only then am I free to edify the ones I love.
What factors cause your mind to be filled with negative thoughts?
Father, help me to release my hurts so I can be a positive influence on my family.
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