Still Being Schooled at 40-Something
I had the privilege of sitting through my seventh grader’s first day. I noticed several things:
- His teacher rocks!
- He was not thrilled to be there.
- All seventh grade boys are alike!
- I haven’t sat through a full day of classes in a while… after two hours my mind was wandering and I was desperate for a snack and a soda!
My son wasn’t excited about this school year so we were praying as we drove to the school. I prayed…
“Lord, please exceed Peter’s expectations for this day… which really isn’t asking much now that I think about it.”
He and I laughed and I prayed he would find it to be so much better than he expected and that he would make wonderful friends. I think the potential is great for him to enjoy this year.
I wish he trusted me that this is a good thing! That he’ll make great friends. That he will learn and enjoy himself this year.
I’ve been praying all those things for him… and then it hit me as I sat there with my mind wandering all over the place. That’s how I am with God. I’m so busy fretting and complaining, I miss enjoying the great expectation of what He has planned for me.
As Peter and I walked toward the school, he said, “If I don’t like it I want to do something different next year.”
I responded, “Let’s just focus on today, ok?”
I could say that to myself often… seriously a lot!
I run ahead to awful outcomes, dreadful dilemmas and fearful futures. Thankfully, Jesus knows my type… He knows me.
So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble—(Matthew 6:34, AMP).
I believe that was written for me. “Sue, don’t you have enough to worry about today? Do you really need to borrow from tomorrow’s worries?” The answer is apparently, “yes, yes I do.” I act like I want to be completely overwhelmed by worry… because really each day has enough to knock me to my knees anyway. Do I want to live flat on my face?
If I’m on my knees in prayer and flat on my face in worship yes! Unfortunately it’s more on my knees in worry and flat on my face in fear.
I’m getting better though. Everything truly is a God-sized task in my life and I just gotta give it to him. I have to let Him be in charge and handle the issues. I’m in way over my head.
And you know what? I don’t mind. I want to live a life surrendered to God… a life marked by trust and grace. If my life wasn’t overwhelming I’d feel like I could handle it without Him. I know I couldn’t but I’d feel like I could and I tend to act like my feelings are accurate... never turns out well.
So as I sit here all wiggly in my seat, watching my son participate in his class, I’m realizing that I can set a great example of trusting one’s parent by trusting God. My kids know when I’m struggling with trust… it shows up in my grumpy and stressed out parenting.
I’m determined to change that. I’m working on trusting and not worrying about today much less tomorrow. I’m going to live today with joy and I’m going to model thankfulness, trust and contentment for all my children.
I’m still praying that my seventh grader learns that I’m trustworthy, but even more so that God is trustworthy with today and tomorrow.
Written by Sue Birdseye
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