Neglecting the small things can rob a mar­riage of its intimacy. It's the small things that show a hus­band and wife that their love is a kind love.

Teresa and I have enjoyed plenty of special times together—trips overseas, memorable gifts, and a silver wedding anniversary—but the daily "smaller" things are just as important to us.

Neglecting the small things can rob a mar­riage of intimacy. It's those things that show a hus­band and wife that their love is a kind love.

For us it's been important to take time for talking and relaxing together. It's been crucial for us to "date" one another, enjoying common inter­ests and weekends away. It's important for us to share feelings, fears, dreams, hopes, insecurities, and joys and to verbalize appreciation and grate­fulness to one another on a consistent basis.

We have found it imperative that we meet our spouse's need for affection. In our times of sexual intimacy, we've found it meaningful to give special emphasis to foreplay and sensitive "afterplay." We've both taken turns focusing on giving to our spouse's desires, prefer­ences, and wishes during sexual intimacy.

Finally, for us it's been essential to initiate times of prayer, gentle touch, verbalized love, quiet closeness, and loving glances.

The "big" memories of our marriage seem to remind us that our relationship is forever, that our commitment is sure. But it's the small things that remind us that our marriage is uniquely our own. The small gestures of kindness remind us that our love is truly our own.

Lord, keep me from rushing past the small expressions of kindness that can help keep love alive and warm.