Single: Joy or Rejection?
According to the 2010 census, more than 96 million people in the United States are single. That’s 43% of adults. 59 million have never married, 23 million are divorced, and another 14 million are widowed.
Many singles feel that singleness equals rejection. If they are over 25 and not in a serious relationship, society often looks on them as rejects, even if they don’t feel that way themselves. “I am single because nobody wants me,” or “Even that person has someone, why don’t I?” or “What does he see in her that he doesn’t see in me?” or “It’s so unfair, why am I like this?” These are examples of destructive tapes that can play over and over in a single person’s head.
If you are single, sometimes the natural tendency is to choose an excuse: “I don’t care because I don’t need anyone anyway,” or to blame someone else: “He isn’t smart enough to know what he is missing.” These choices view singleness as a problem and attempt to blame something or someone for it. A more realistic, positive, and productive approach is to accept your singleness and make choices that will point you toward the goals God has for your life right now. With this attitude, you will be able to move forward with your life by embracing God and your present circumstance of singleness.
In God’s eyes, being single does not equate with being a reject or coming in last place. Actually, He might even see it as having more time and mind space available to pursue Him. It certainly worked for Jesus and Paul. Some people find great fulfillment in being married. But others can find the same fulfillment and sense of purpose by being single. To be an enriching experience, your singleness must be managed based on God’s will for moral, healthy relational conduct, especially your relationship with yourself. When we are in a pattern of rejecting others or being rejected by others, it is hard not to reject ourselves too. Satan steers that pattern towards rejecting even God.
Today, if you know some singles, examine how you view them. Are you judging them, even subtly? Why are you judging? Are you perfect? How about helping them manage some of the stressors and temptations of single life? Forward this to them. Now, if you are single, focus on the fact of how very special you are to God. You are His workmanship, and His workmanship is marvelous! God has a plan for your life, and it is best to focus on seeking His will and becoming all that He has designed you to be. Growing in Him will allow you to become more Christ-like in all areas of life, whether you are meant to be single or married. Whether you handle your marital status in a way that glorifies God or you are always yearning for the greener grass on the other side of the fence is your decision, so choose well.
Dear Father God, thank You for where I am. Help me always remember that success in my life’s journey does not depend on whether I am married or single. My success in life can be measured only by how well I understand and steward Your plan and purpose for me. I know I have made many mistakes in past relationships and dishonored You and others when I was single. Help me focus on You and accomplish Your purpose for my journey, whether You intend singleness or marriage. Help me develop the love and skills to have successful relationships with a spouse, with family, or with friends. I pray this in the name of Your Son, the groom to the church, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say – AMEN!
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. Psalm 139:13-17
But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. 1 Corinthians 7:32-34a
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