Single Desire: How Can I Satisfy My Desire to Rescue a Man?


This message will help you understand why you might be drawn to "bad boys" -- and what you can do to direct your heart towards healthy relationships.

If you’re conflicted by the fact that you find Johnny Depps’ Captain Jack Sparrow sexy, you’ve come to the right place. The treacherous, badly groomed pirate swoons the hearts of women despite that fact that he’s most likely incapable of sustaining a long-term relationship. (Never mind the fact that he’s fictional.)

Recent studies suggest that women are scientifically attracted to bad boys. Some think this tendency is heightened during ovulation when a woman may subconsciously be more likely to consider how protective a potential mate could be of offspring. (I’m sorry that I just called your future children “offspring.”) (Again, never mind the fact that the bad boy tendency might make them undependable.)

I think we are, in fact, attracted to the bad boy. But I think the reason is much simpler than science will ever uncover. I’d like to reveal it to you today so you can figure out what to do with your bad boy appetite before you end up with one that might hurt you.

The simple truth is this: you were created with a desire to help a man. It’s biblical. God created you to be a completer or a “helper” for the man you will marry, if you marry one day. If this causes your feminist feathers to ruffle, don’t fly away just yet. I’d like to show you what the Hebrew language says about being a helper. I wrote this in one of my recent books entitled,

Get Lost:

Genesis 2:18 reads: “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone: I will make him a helper fit for him.’” God chose to call Eve a helper. In the original Hebrew language He called her an ezer kenedgo for Adam. The wordezer means “helper” and the word kenedgo means “to accompany.” We see that God created the first woman with the intention that she would accompany man in order to help him. Ready for the beauty? Only two references in the Bible point to a woman’s being an ezer, a helper. All the rest describe Someone else in that role. God is called our ezer multiple times in the Old Testament. Being a helper is no second-class position. What a privilege we have as females to reflect the concerned helping quality of God our Maker. He certainly does not walk subserviently behind us, but comes tenderly alongside us in a position of strength. That’s what it means to be a helpmate. Yet this beautiful privilege of being a helper within marriage has met with the firm resistance from hearts molded by the feminist mentality. Mine included.

I don’t believe we are drawn to the bad boy because we actually want a bad boy. We’re drawn to them by our natural God-given character to help. We want to rescue those bad boys deep down inside of us.

So how does a single girl—who is not yet in a marriage relationship—meet this deep desire so that you’re not looking to have it met in unhealthy relationships? (Many times if we stifle a legitimate longing, we will end up feeding it a counterfeit. That’s what I think happens when a good girl reaches out for a bad boy. It may be why Katy Perry keeps ending up with the bad boy.) Today I want to suggest something very simple because sometimes very simple things are what is required to scratch very simple itches. And this is one of them.

Help someone.

Get out of your comfort zone and do something good for someone today. Doesn’t matter if it’s a girl, a guy, a man, a woman, a child, or a dog. But help someone. Stop being so busy and scheduled, and look around you.

Is the mom at the door of Barnes and Noble scrambling to open the door so her stroller can fit through it? Help her.

Is the farmer’s cow loose on the road? Help him.

Is your little brother struggling to pass geometry?
Help him.

Is your church delivering food to needy family’s for the holiday?

Get out of your Grey’s Anatomy marathon mentality, and do something to help someone. It will feed your desire and deep longing to be a rescuer and keep you moving in a healthy direction towards a good man if God has one for you one day!

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