Should I Follow My Husband to Financial Ruin?
Dear Pastor Lance – my husband really wants to have our family invest in a business opportunity that is unhealthy. He already is far too invested in it personally with his time and money, and now he wants to make it worse. As a wife I’m trying to be supportive but he’s making really bad financial decisions. What am I to do?
My friend – as odd as this sounds my advice will be a bit counterintuitive. But please know that I’m very aware of how hard and scary my advice is.
My thoughts for you in regard to this would be 1 Pe 3:1–6:
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”
Let me remind you that Abraham made really, really bad decisions and put his wife and family in jeopardy, not once, but twice!
Here’s the reality:
If you block your husband, he will resist you and think that you are the one holding him down. If you leave him to the Lord and make your case clearly known, and yet allow him to lead you through a bad situation, then he will learn and grow.
As long as he thinks you are the problem he won’t change. Not until he sees that he is the one at the steering wheel, will he alter course.
God will hold him accountable for what he does and how he leads. You don’t want to mess with that. Although I think that wives are given to husbands partially for wisdom and advice, so the men need to heed that. In the event that the man lacks the wisdom to listen to his wife, the Lord had to take it ‘in house’.
Following a leader is scary. Being a leader is scary. May God have grace on us all.
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