Share or Not to Share Mistakes with Our Kids?
We’re human. We’ve made mistakes. Do we really need to share mistakes with our kids?
Yes. …. And no.
Yes, we must show our vulnerability to sin just as everyone else. But, no they don’t need to know every single detail. (At least that has been my personal experience, so far.)
Some people think it’s none of our child’s business. I’ve learned the hard way that our kids need to see how we’ve handled life’s twists and turns in order to more fully understand themselves.
When our kids see our weaknesses and also see how God has used us in spite of them, they hopefully learn to seek the same grace for themselves.
A few questions to ask if whether sharing our mistakes with our kids is beneficial or not:
1. Is the information going to really add something to their life — or take something away?
I’m a big proponent of The Truth when it comes to kids. I have personally learned many times that kids will make up their own Truth that suits their own needs in order to make sense of something they don’t understand. Most of the time it’s far, far from The Truth.
“For there is nothing hidden that will not become visible, and nothing secret that will not be known and come to light,” Christ tells us. (Luke 8:17)
2. Will my sharing be more for my good or my child’s? What’s my motive?
Sure, it can make us feel great to confess our sins. That’s why Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 5: 18: “All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation . . .”
Kids love to know “secrets”. It makes them feel special and chosen. However, when the secret is something that should never have been uttered anyway to them, we must keep it to ourselves or find someone more suitable to hear it. It must be relevant, otherwise that’s what priests, spiritual directors, girlfriends and therapists are for, not children.
3. Have you prayed that God direct you in whether to share information with your child?
When we give The Holy Spirit the lead, He will provide the PERFECT opportunity for us to share mistakes with our kids. This has happened over and over again in my family, in so many circumstances, I can’t even count…
Trust Him and He will trust you, when you are obedient to hearing Him.
The Good News about sharing our mistakes with our children is that God has the opportunity to reveal Himself and His loving forgiveness. They will see His infinite power and mercy — if we share it — in the healing and opportunities presented.
When have you shared a personal mistake with your child?
How did it affect your relationship with them?
Is there something you need ask God for the perfect opportunity to share with your children?