Reward Self-Control?


Parents should not reward behavior that should be expected of their children.

I'm working with my son on anger management when he is being disciplined. Is it okay to reward him with things like picking a family movie when he is successful at expressing his anger/frustration in an acceptable way?

I don't recommend it. Rewarding a child for demonstrating self-control can actually exacerbate the problem. The child may intuitively realize that he only receives a reward because he usually does NOT control his anger. So he lets fly with nine outbursts of anger when disciplined in order to be rewarded with going to the movies with a friend when, on the tenth occasion, he controls himself.

Quite often, it teaches them how to manipulate other people. When your son demonstrates good self-control, you may or may not see fit to tell him later that you were pleased. But I would not make a big deal of behavior that is expected.

Please register for a free account to view this content

We hope you have enjoyed the 10 discipleship resources you have read in the last 30 days.
You have exceeded your 10 piece content limit.
Create a free account today to keep fueling your spiritual journey!

Already a member? Login to iDisciple

The Leader As a Performer
Dr. Tim Elmore
Beauty Is Crushing
Jackie Roese
Nothing But the Truth-A Family Devotional
Josh McDowell
Not His Fault
Steve Russo
Leave a Lasting Impression
Focus on the Family
Follow Us

Want to access more exclusive iDisciple content?

Upgrade to a Giving Membership today!

Already a member? Login to iDisciple