Relating Properly to Your Circle of Influence


Each of us has distinct circles of influence in our life. A person has to both recognize and learn how to work with each circle in order to live an effective life.

Each of us has distinct circles of influence in our life. A person has to both recognize and learn how to work with each circle in order to live an effective life.

I. Your Own Life

1. Your first priority is to make sure that you are relating properly to yourself and to your God.

A. You must know yourself and be self-aware.

B. You must know your God so you can know yourself and your purpose. Because we are image bearers of God, we need to know Him if we are to know ourselves.

2. You must always make sure you have integrated your life.

A. Compartmentalizing is hypocrisy and integrity is an absolute.

B. Put yourself under the right influences at all times and allow God to influence you at all times; do not let your base pleasures influence and take over.

3. You are to love your neighbor as you love yourself.

A. Loving yourself takes place before you can serve others in the ministry.

B. There are many ministers who think it spiritual to neglect their physical and emotional health for the sake of others.

II. Your Spouse

1. Your spouse is needed to properly reflect the image of God needed for dominion (Genesis 1:27).

2. Prayers (and your walk with God) will be hindered if you don’t walk with your spouse with understanding (1 Peter 3:8).

3. Husbands are very accountable for their spouses’ emotional well being because they were made to respond to their Wives (Genesis 3).

4. Must not make important decisions regarding your time, family, or finances without first consulting with your spouse (Ephesians 5:22).

5. Relationship with your spouse is more important than relationship with your children unless you are in a mixed-family marriage.

III. Your Biological Children

1. Your children are an extension of your rewards (Psalm 127:3).

A. We will be judged by the Lord on what we did with our biological children, not just spiritual children.

2. Your children are an extension of your purpose (Genesis 1:28; Acts 2:39).

3. One-generational ministers detach their lives and focus from their biological children. They view their children as an annoyance or addendum rather than an extension of their lives and ministry. Thus, they sacrifice their children on the altar of ministry.

4. The Moses and Joshua generations worked together to enter the Promised Land. Even the cursed generation still had to disciple their children and keep them in the faith so they could succeed where their parents had failed!

IV. You Primary Church Leadership

1. Always prioritize the leadership of your church over the rest of the flock and the programs of the church.

2. Always have a meeting with and influence the main influencer before the official meeting.

3. Always endeavor to cultivate a relationship before you demand work from your leaders.

4. The level of loyalty you will receive is commensurate to the amount of time you invest in the person you are trying to lead. Loyalty always goes two ways; it is not just towards the “anointed servant of God.”

5. You will always be able to hold them accountable to the level of sacrifice you make to the church and the Lord. For example, some pastors don’t tithe and they complain when their congregants don’t tithe; some churches don’t tithe and they complain when their leaders don’t tithe.

6. Get to know them and one another by letting them tell their story.

V. Choosing Emerging Leaders

1. Use 2 Timothy 2:2 as your guide.

2. Must be committed, have integrity, be sacrificial, and be willing to tithe before you should commit yourself to them.

3. Every church as an “A” team and a “B” team regarding those attending the church.

A. The “A” team is committed to the vision of the church, while the “B” team is committed to their own vision and are using your church for their own agenda and platform. Only pick out people who are part of the “A” team and don’t waste time with those who already have their own vision.

VI. Local Church vs. Marketplace or Extra-Local Community

1. In this day, the Lord is emphasizing a paradigm of dominion called “ Church in Community” in which the church endeavors to sow itself into the community instead of getting the community to come to the church.

2. In this model we must have a proper balance because of all the opportunities that will come when you are serving your city.

A. Many apostolic leaders make the mistake of allowing political, business, or community events trump commitment to their local church.

B. You must always center everything around the local church or you are not grounded.

C. Your missiology must have a proper ecclesiology or you will lose the reason for your existence and become more of a politician or businessperson than a shepherd of the flock.

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