Raising True Women


Young women need to know what the Bible says about their identity and why it matters.

A chat with co-author Mary Kassian about "Becoming God's True Woman While I Still Have a Curfew."

Many young women don’t understand God’s design. As you mull that over, I’d like you to consider your daughters, granddaughters, nieces, and neighbors. Freeze-frame those precious faces in your mind because they need us to fight for God’s Truth on their behalf. They need to know what the Bible says about their identity and why it matters.

I picked Mary Kassian’s brain recently about what’s at stake in the lives of young women. I hope her answers will inspire you to reach out to a young woman in your world with God’s Truth.

Erin: Who are the girls in your own world who inspired you to write this book? 

Mary: I speak to thousands of women each year at conferences and one of the comments I often hear from them is, “I wish someone would have told me this when I was young.” 
Last year, I met three girls, eighteen to twenty years old, who were attending a  Bible study at a live-in recovery center in Indiana. As we talked, one girl said, “I wish I would have known what the Bible says about how to make good decisions years ago.” The second girl agreed. With tears in her eyes she asked, “Why didn’t anyone tell us?” The third girl said, “I’m talking to my little sister about all this stuff. I hope you’re going to write a book for girls like her, to help them learn about how to be wise before they mess up like we did.”

Erin: In your experience, what are the major misunderstandings young women have about gender and design? 

Mary: One misunderstanding is that womanhood is a topic that they don’t need to think about until they’re older. They think that it’s only important for women who are engaged or thinking about getting married. They don’t see that it’s something that’s relevant to their lives right now—It impacts the way they think about their identity, guy-girl relationships, what they wear, how they talk and think, what they watch on TV, the books they read, their habits, their focus, and all sorts of other things. God’s design for womanhood has profound implications for their everyday lives, even as teens.

A second misunderstanding is that biblical womanhood means getting married and having kids, or that it insists that women only clean and cook, or that they can’t have a career, or that they have to forego their personality and fit into a stereotyped mold. There are so many misunderstandings about what it does and does not mean. Biblical womanhood isn’t about squeezing you into a cookie cutter pattern. It’s not about following a stereotyped checklist. Rather, it has to do with shining light on the Gospel story through who God created you to be as female. We all have different gifts and personalities. Our lives won’t all look the same. Biblical womanhood looks different in different women’s lives.

A third misunderstanding is that God’s plan for womanhood is boring. It’s not! It’s one of the most beautiful, exciting, and fulfilling things a girl can discover. Finding out who God created you to be helps you grow into who you are. You get comfortable in your own skin and become everything He created you to be.  

Erin: What is the best way for moms and grandmas to address the issue of gender with the girls in their world? 

Mary: It’s important that you’re intentional about teaching them the difference between the Bible’s and the world’s ideal for women. In this day and age, true womanhood has to be “taught”—it won’t just be “caught.” The best way to help your daughter or granddaughter is to start talking about biblical womanhood when they’re young. Help them evaluate the messages they hear on TV, in magazines, in music, and from friends. Read a book or do a Bible study on womanhood together. 

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