Protection From Drifting Apart


May the Lord help you and your spouse protect the love you share.

Guard, through the Holy Spirit who dwells in us, the treasure which has been entrusted to you. 2 Timothy 1:14, NASB

Couples sometimes drift apart after several years of marriage. We like to sug­gest a few ways couples can preserve the gift of love God has given them.

First, we encourage couples to verbalize—to let their spouse know that they miss them, need them, care about them, and appreciate them. Gentle words are soothing, reassuring, and communicate that "You're special to me!"

We encourage couples to ask one another about the words they speak so that they can speak meaningful words to one another. We also encourage them to ask about their actions. For example, a wife might say: "Proverbs 31 speaks about a wife comforting her husband. What can I do to be more comforting to you?" On the other hand, a husband might say: "Ephesians 5 speaks about a hus­band giving himself up for his wife. How can I demonstrate this to you?" We encourage couples to ask one another about home atmosphere so that their homes can be comforting or relaxing to both spouses, which positively impacts their relationship.

Next, we ask couples to empathize with one another. It is important that both spouses feel the freedom to express frustration, anxiety, or fear. Couples can do that through empathetic words and touch. This shows a person how much it hurts to see his or her spouse sad. We encourage cou­ples to reaffirm their love and concern for one another and to reaffirm their commitment to come alongside and share one another's burdens.

Finally, we encourage couples never to lose sight of the impact small gestures can make in a marriage. We're talking about small gestures such as welcoming your spouse home when he or she has been away, noticing your spouse each evening, making eye contact, and talking about what's important to each other that day.

What steps will you take today to begin protecting the love you and your spouse share?

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