Often, we don’t often change unless we’re disrupted . . . unless something bad happens to upset our homeostasis. Sometimes, it works the other way. We’re ‘positively’ disrupted. We see someone who models a character trait we wish we had . . . so much so that we start trying to be more like them. Occasionally, God speaks to us personally and we know we’ve been disrupted with something profound. It happened to one of my best friends a few weeks ago. Shared with permission, here’s part of an email he sent to me and a few of his closest friends . . .
“This past week while flying back from a meeting in Dallas, I was reading a book (as is typically the case). While engrossed in my novel, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that God was speaking directly to me about something. It was something I have always known, but may not have truly understood. Maybe I had just put the concept in the back of my mind, but this time, God put some real meaning behind the thought and He took me deeper with what He expects. My wife Sharon is a gift from God. She was picked specifically for me and given to me as a loving gift directly from Christ. Thus, I must love, honor, and protect this hand-picked gift from Him. My awakening was that if I mistreat or disrespect this gift, if I talk unkindly to my wife, then I am dishonoring God himself. In fact, when I am talking to her, I am talking to God directly since He lives in her. I believe we are called to love our spouses like we are to love our Lord. Think about all the Scriptures teach about how we are to love God. If we apply those same principles and love our spouse ‘as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her,’ then we will be honoring Christ in our day-to-day walk and growing closer to Him. I have failed so many times, but I pray now that I can appreciate this incredible gift God chose specifically for me and love her as He teaches. I know this word from God was intended for me, but I felt led to share it with people I love. Lord, forgive me for all of the times that I have taken your gift, Sharon, for granted. Help me from this day forward to love her as you teach. Thank you for speaking to me and for loving me despite my shortcomings.”
Do you see your wife as a gift from God? Are you conscious of the fact that when you’re fussing at her, or ignoring her, or talking down to her, or criticizing her, you’re doing it to the King of Kings? Sure, we’re all going to have our moments. But we can all take a deep breath, slow down and be kind to our wives, no matter the situation.
Thank you Tut Smith, for sharing your heart. You’ve ‘positively disrupted’ me. And hopefully, several thousand others.
Scripture: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (Ephesians 5:25)
Mentor Tip: A married man cannot become an effective, respected leader, disciple, or disciple-maker if he will not choose to love his wife “as Christ loved the church.” Perhaps nothing you’ll work on with your mentees is more important.
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