Personalities in Marriage
“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:1-2 NIV)
With rare exception, couples have different personalities, and as a result, they have different habits, abilities, and preferences.
Opposites do attract, but couples sometimes approach their marriages as combatants because of their different personalities. They may forget that they were originally attracted to each other because of their differences.
Personality differences don’t have to be a source of conflict in your marriage.
Compromise is the key, but how do you get there?
First, speak the truth, but consider the other person’s side. A good marriage is built on a foundation of trust, and it doesn’t take a lot of lying to destroy that foundation.
Second, don’t keep things bottled up until you explode. Settle differences before you go to bed so the Enemy does not get a foothold.
Third, learn to work on the problem, not the person. Step back into a third-party position and seek a solution rather than trying to make a “point.”
Fourth, develop an understanding of why your spouse responds the way he or she does. A good personality assessment (a free one is offered through Crown) can give each of you a better understanding of the other’s personality.
By understanding each other’s personalities, a couple can understand why they approach the same problem in different ways. This can give them a head start on anticipating and dealing with conflicts before they occur.
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