Pace Yourself


If you have a great idea or an urge to start a business, don’t rush. Courtney DeFeo offers advice on how to pace yourself.

This final post is going to be hard – I’m going to contradict myself right and left. AND, I need this pep talk more than anything.

Some of you have a dream and desire for a business or product – and you need that little push. You need to go for it. You just know it.

Some of you need a push and the freedom I can offer today – DON’T DO IT.

I wish I could answer it for you. That’s why it’s good we hopefully all follow one person, not me, it’s God. We want the best for our lives, and He only knows. So, put your dreams in front of Him. Ask Him what He has for the future.

  • Is it a NO forever?
  • Is it a NO not now?
  • Is it waiting until the kids are in school?

I know what’s like to put your identity in your career. I know what it’s like to put your identity in your role as a mom. I know what it’s like to put your identity in your efforts and your accomplishments. All roads lead to the same thing – emptiness. Never true fulfillment.

God is the best place for your true identity. I have felt this too and THIS is where I want to stay.

We are the microwave generation. We think when we have an idea it has to hit the market by the next weekend. Partly, because we can. Partly, because we are impatient.

Christine Caine reminded me at She Speaks there has to be time from appointed to anointed. In many of the stories in the Bible, there was a season of waiting and growth. Sometimes 20 years. We can’t just expect that we get a vision and we are ready to hit the national stage. If we aren’t prepared for the light and pressure, we will crumble in minutes flat.

I can tell you from experience that these businesses can be like a snowball – it starts as manageable and fun and a “side” thing, and then it keeps rolling and compounding and rolling. Suddenly, the side gig isn’t so little. And your idea for a little something isn’t so manageable.

The grass is always greener right? My friends that are “just a mom” feel the pressure to do something else. And those with “something else” feel the urge to delete it all and get back to the way it was before.

We cannot have it all. Balance impacts every mother I know. Whether she works in the home, outside of the home, stays at home full-time as a homemaker, home schools, public schools, has many kids or one. It isn’t easy. And the guilt is present.

Since my business began, this is the FIRST year that my girls are both in school the SAME hours every day of the week and it is a different world. I can actually focus during the day. 8-3 every day. Then, ideally, when they are home … it is time to be with them. I am feeling margin and I like it.

The last several years, I was exhausting myself with doing both all of the time, all day long.

So, pace yourself. If you have a great idea or an urge to do this. Don’t rush.

  1. Ask God for confirmation on the idea and the timing
  2. Seek wise counsel from other moms that are business owners
  3. Dream big, start small – even one meeting a month is moving towards your goal
  4. You have nothing to prove – this one was huge for me. KNOWING in my heart what I could accomplish or how big it could go was a moment for me.  I realized that I didn’t need to prove that to anyone or go that big. I could do it my way, for my family. Keep our priorities and our balance and hours the way it would work best.
  5. No judgement. Every family is different. From dads staying home to full-time nannies. We have to support each other. And certainly not use each other as business models. One way isn’t THE way.
  6. Ask yourself tough questions.
  • Is this the right season of your life to do this?
  • What is the ultimate goal of this product or business?
  • Is this truly what you love to do?
  • Is this your timing or God’s timing?

I never regret the days I left work on the table and made it to the field trip. I never regret the sales lost when I chose family. I do regret unnecessary worry and time spent on business ideas or blog series that just weren’t important in the scheme of life.

I will never regret saying YES to God for this dream. My heart is forever changed and with each passing month, my heart becomes more desperate to change little lives in this world. I want our families to know that God is real. Starting with my family, I’ll use my gifts to spread that message.

Pace yourself – I’m talking to me. I am a workaholic.

We got all kinds of time. And if we trust God is actually in charge of it, He can do more in a blink that we ever could muscling our way through the day.

Your dreams are safe with Him.

We only pass through these days once. They were JUST this little…

And, literally in a flash – they are in school, every day of the week.

Hug yours tight and go snuggle.

Don’t forget to giggle!

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