Our Break Up Still Hurts


How can you move on after being hurt by a break up? Tim Stafford offers one young man encouragement and helpful direction.

My ex-girlfriend really hurt me. How can I move on?

Q. I'm going through a really hard time right now. My girlfriend dumped me after 10 months. She'd already started going out with other guys before we broke up. I've forgiven her for this, and I'm trying to get on with my life, but it's really hard. Since I hang out with some friends who go to her school, I still see her a lot. It's hard to see her flirting with other guys. How I should deal with this?

A. It takes time for wounds of love to heal because those wounds can be very deep. With that said, I'd like to give a couple of cautions: In your effort to get over your pain, don't try to start a relationship with another girl right away. You need time to heal. A relationship would only complicate matters for you. Second, don't try to pretend you're not hurting. In other words, don't bury your feelings.

Instead, you need to deal with your feelings. It sounds like you've got some good friends to hang around with. They can help you heal. Talk to a caring friend about what you're going through. Ask him or her to pray with you and to help keep your spirits up as you recover from your breakup.

But I think the best solution to your problem is the most obvious one: Stay away from your old girlfriend. Do you have to hang out at a place where she's always around? Can you find some other place to go? Seeing her is bound to bring up all the old, painful memories. Someday you'll be able to see her and not have these feelings, but for now, you need to try and keep your distance. Try to hang out with your friends elsewhere.

You've already done the very best thing you can do: Forgive her and move on. Now, it's time for you to literally move on to another place.

Written by Tim Stafford

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