We serve a truly jealous God. Think about it. God made everything; yet, what he wants most is our love. He can have anything; yet, he lets us choose our own path. When I read the book of Jeremiah, I am constantly struck by it. I can feel God's anger. I can feel his love. I can feel His frustration. Frustration not just with His chosen people: the Israelites, but also with me and with you.
There is an old German hymn that goes,
"Was Geibst Du Denn, O Meine Seele; Gott der dir Täglich Alles Geibt?"
"What will you give him, O my Soul, to God, who daily gives you everything?"
That song plays on a loop in my mind whenever I run to my other lovers. I know that it's God speaking to my heart. "I love you. I love you so much that I gave My only Son's life for you! Why do you go to your other lovers for what only I can provide? Over and over again I have taught you that they are empty and worthless. Why do you run to them when all they fill you with is shame? Come to me, I will fill you with light. Your other lovers, they keep you in the darkness. Your other lovers make you experience things that I want to protect you from. They fill you with emotions that I have not finished preparing you for. They steal our time together and will do anything to keep us apart.
Return, O faithless sons; I will heal your faithlessness (Jeremiah 3:22 ESV)
Dear, Sweet Sisters in Christ, my other lovers are not men. My lovers are the first thing I run to when I am bored. They are the things that I think about the most. The things that are more important to me than God. My heart aches whenever I realize that I've been unfaithful to my Savior. Because my heart knows where its true devotion lies. All I want is to love, serve, and to live for Him with abandon. Yet my other lovers call to me. They beckon me onto the easier, broader path. They promise relief; they promise a safe haven. But every time, I find that all they do is lie to me. And I gave a part of my heart, my nonredeemable time, and valuable space in my mind to darkness disguised as light.
To be honest, this is a battle that I've been fighting for years. One thing that I have learned and taken to heart is that every time I've been faithless, He has remained faithful. Today when I look at all the struggles, the tears of sorrow, the heartache at hurting my Lord; I am struck with awe at how much He has overcome in my life. I will not always struggle with the battles that I am fighting right now. My current lovers do not have that strong a hold on me; nor will they last long. I am also not afraid, although sometimes I'm tempted to be, of the lovers that will try to ensnare me in the future.
The God who had been faithful to overcome any obstacle in my life will overcome anything Satan tries to use against me. He who is in me is stronger than he who is in the world.
Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love. But I with the voice of thanksgiving will sacrifice to you; what I have vowed I will pay. Salvation belongs to the Lord! (Jonah 2: 8 – 9 ESV)
By Roslyn Wollman