Not Just Another Love Story
Is it me or does every new mother have a unique, transforming love for her first born?
We were married for 13 years before our son came into the world. When they called and said, “it’s a boy!" I thought my husband was going to burst from pure joy.
My womb was closed.
It would never carry a child.
But my aching arms would be filled.
There were complications. He was in the Intensive Care Unit. A nurse had accidentally let the birth mother, Kim, hold him. She wasn't ready to sign the papers. In the hospital this sick baby was fighting for his life. They named him John Doe. Our lawyer said, "We can get you another baby." We replied, "No" and named him Matthew –Gift of God.
We knew Kim. We were volunteer youth pastors in our church. Kim was one of our precious girls. She didn't know we were adopting her baby. We had moved away months earlier. Our lawyer kept the secret.
For days we stayed in limbo not knowing if he was healthy and even knowing if he would be ours.
On the fifth day she agreed to sign the papers.
On the sixth day the infection left his body.
On the ninth day we brought him home.
I couldn't keep my eyes off this blond, blued-eyed baby boy. I didn't even know I was capable of such love. We were so consumed.
Every move he made I watched with intensity. We were there to meet his every need. His smile was contagious. When he laughed and kicked his feet in joy, we couldn't get enough. We, the watching parents, covered him with our love no matter how long we had him. The law gave Kim one year to change her mind.
Her decision shadowed us. What would she do?
Kim did sign the final papers knowing she would never see him again.
Her empty arms held him but once.
All she had left was her memory and his receiving blanket.
She inherited my heartache.
Her choice was my joy.
I will never forget her sacrifice.
Is it me or does every new mother have a unique transforming love for her first born?
By adoption, we too are adopted into the family of God.
It's not just another love story.
His fight was not effortless and his sacrifice not bloodless.
He was consumed with love for us.
The victory is His.
But our choice always hangs there in the shadows.
He chose us, we didn't choose Him.
I will be honest with you, my love for Matthew so overpowered me that I thought I would lose my relationship with my God. The truth was it brought me ever closer. It gave me a sweeter appreciation for what we have. It gave me a more excellent understanding of His whispered words to my yielding heart, "I love you with an everlasting love."
What pleases The Lord?
What makes Him stand up and watch?
What makes Him laugh and clap His hands in joy?
Is it me, His daughter?
For God so loved the world He gave... John 3:16a
God decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure. Ephesians 1:5
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14
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