My Friend Is Having Sex
I know she's heading for trouble. Should I tell her parents? What can I do to help her?
Q. A friend of mine has gotten far away from God. She's dating a non-Christian, and I just learned they're having sex. I'm not sure what to do. I know she's heading for trouble. Should I tell her parents? What can I do to help her?
A. Start by praying for her, daily. It's the best thing you can do because it calls on the most powerful force in her life: God. You may be able to help her, but mostly it's up to her and God. So pray.
Then, tell her what you're praying about. I realize this is very hard to do. She may not want to listen to you. Even so, tell her you're going to keep praying for her and being her friend. Don't bug her about it. Once you've made your feelings known, give her the time and space to think about her choices.
There's also the chance that your friend may want to talk. I've known people who acted calm on the outside while they were dying on the inside. They knew they needed to change, but couldn't see how to do it. Your friend could be feeling that way. You won't know unless you talk to her. Let her know you're worried, that you care about her and want to help her in any way you can. Don't preach at her or judge her. Just be there for her and listen to her.
Whether or not you tell her parents depends a lot on the kind of people they are. Not all parents handle such news well. Some get extremely upset, which only makes matters worse. So before you decide to tell them, think about what their reaction might be. You probably don't want to be thought of as a snitch, but you're not obligated to cover up for your friend. If you think it might help your friend, talk to her parents.
As you try to help your friend, remember, only God can change her heart. But through your love and prayers, God can use you to bring her back to him.
Written by Tim Stafford