Mutual Submission


Mutual submission is one of the great secrets of a "happily ever after" marriage.

If you are not a believer in Christ, then you probably won’t get this one at all. In the marketplace, you have to demand your rights or you will get walked over. You have to make your demands and expectations explicit. In Christ’s world, though, you enter marriage the way he entered planet Earth: as a servant.

Does this sound like fun? “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). On the face of it, I suppose not. It sounds like a lot of work. It sounds risky—won’t your spouse just take advantage of you? What if nobody takes care of your needs?

Mutual submission is actually one of the great secrets of a “happily ever after” marriage. If I make demands of my wife, then I’m just another drain on her capacity. On the other hand, if I serve her, I will take pressure off her. I will add energy to her spirit. I will inspire her heart to want to serve me back.

You know what downward spirals are, right? When two people’s negativity feeds off each other and drives the relationship into the ground. Mutual submission ignites the reverse—an upward spiral. Talk about win/win—you honor Christ and your life gets better.


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