Don't wait on love; wait on God. Much heartache has been caused by rushing into love or forcing a relationship that's outside the parameters of God's best for you.
Much heartache has been caused by rushing into love or forcing a relationship that is outside the parameters of God's best for you.
When it comes to love, I want you to wait well. But I also want you to know that waiting well doesn't work like a magic formula. You can guard your purity. You can trust God with your love life. You can write lists and save pennies and work on being the right person for love, but none of that guarantees that you will end up happily married to the man of your dreams until death do you part.
I want to temper all that good advice about love with the reality that God is in charge and He has not promised our version of a fairy tale ending, no matter how well we wait.
It's a reminder that Lies Young Women Believe author Nancy Leigh DeMoss gives in the book Lies Women Believe. She addresses unfulfilled longings—those desires we have that go unmet. Nancy teaches two key lessons about unfulfilled longings that seem worth repeating.
Lesson #1: We will always have unfulfilled longings this side of heaven.
"If we could have all our longings fulfilled down here, we would easily be satisfied with staying here, and our hearts would never long for a better place," Nancy writes.
She goes on to point out that instead of taking matters into our own hands, we must learn to be content. Contentment means to be satisfied to stop looking over the fence and admiring the green grass of other circumstances and to decide that the way your life is right now is okay with you. It's an idea that reminds me of something the apostle Paul wrote:
I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through [Christ] who strengthens me (Phil. 4:11–13).
Paul knew what it was like to go without, but he also knew a secret: contentment doesn't come from having everything we want; it comes from looking to Christ for strength.
God may or may not grant your desire to be married just like He may not grant many other desires, even the things you really, really want. As you look at your life, do you take Paul's approach? Have you learned to be content, even when things don't go the way that you want them to? Single or married, in love or out, can you say that you are satisfied because your strength, joy, peace, etc. comes from God? That's the sweet spot, and choosing to be content—even when things don't go like you want them to—is even more important than simply waiting well.
Lesson #2: The deepest longings of our hearts cannot be filled by any created person or thing.
"This is one of the most liberating truths I have discovered in my own pilgrimage," Nancy writes. "For years, I looked to people and circumstances to make me happy. Time after time, when they failed to come through, I would find myself disgruntled and disappointed."
Do you feel like having a guy will make you happy? Would being married ease the disappointment you feel about your life? Maybe. For a while, but the truth is no person, no matter how great, can meet your deepest longings. That's God's job.
That's the message I want to sink deep into your hearts today, girls. God is enough. He is the answer to:
- your loneliness.
- your longing to be loved.
- your desire to be known.
- your fears about the future.
I think it's great to desire marriage. God designed it after all! I want you to wait for God's timing for romance and to keep your eyes on Him while you wait. But I don't want you to think of love like a race, where you will someday cross the finish line. Instead, know that married or unmarried unfulfilled longings are part of our citizenship on the planet. There will be things we want that we do not get and the deepest holes in our hearts can only be filled by God.
If you're waiting for love, let me encourage you to do more than wait well. Instead, be satisfied. Let God be enough for you today, and trust Him with the desires of your heart that have not been met yet.