Messy Friendships


Ladies, as hard as it is, we need to remember that ‘our’ stuff (including our time) is actually ‘His’ and be willing to throw everything and anything onto the altar for our friends.

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13 ESV)

Our townhouse has a small strip of grass between the deck and the mountainside and it’s been a struggle for eight years to actually grow a nice, dense sod. Most years, it’s patchy with the only hue of green coming from clumps of moss. But last year, we were so pleased to see them spread a shade friendly seed and were thrilled with our thick healthy yard.

A few weeks later however, a ‘friend’ came by and managed to destroy our little lawn overnight; it was never the same again.

Have you ever had a friend ruin something of yours? Spill coffee on your white couch, back your car into a pole . . . or place a hot pot on your countertop – leaving a burn ring? None of them meant to mess up your life, but they ended up doing something destructive that catches your eye every day reminding you of the costly friendship.

Some people are just walking disasters waiting to happen. There’s a term these days, ‘hot mess’ and that describes a few people I know. Their lives are not complete without a whole lot of daily drama and yet . . . they wear it well. Still, some of my friends seem to have it all together but under the surface, there is a storm brewing. Eventually, like a pressure cooker, it all bubbles to the surface and in an unsuspected ugly display you find out what’s really been going on under their cool exterior.

Such was the case with our yard. Under the carefully manicured new lawn, unbeknownst to us, a menacing mole had tunneled in and was just waiting to toss around our pride and joy, leaving a path of destruction in its wake.

Ladies, as hard as it is, we need to remember that ‘our’ stuff (including our time) is actually ‘His’ and be willing to throw everything and anything onto the altar for our friends, (with some healthy boundaries of course – see my devotional called Beautiful Boundaries). After all, we too will have times in our lives when we are a walking mess or a pressure cooker ready to blow and will need a measure of grace ourselves.

Father, forgive us for resenting the spots, scratches and dents friends have left in our lives, and help us to see them as you do – sacrificial scars of love.

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