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Marriage Staff Meeting: Hit the Bull’s-Eye!

Description

If we truly want to care for our family members well, we have to understand how each person experiences love. We have to learn how to hit their relational bull’s-eye.

While we all have the same relationship needs, the priority of those needs is different for each person. Your greatest need may be for affection, while your partner’s greatest need may be security. Appreciation may be at the top of the list for your son, while your daughter needs encouragement more than anything else.

If we’re not careful, we’ll treat everyone as if they all have the same priority of needs. We might also try to meet other people’s needs based on our own priority.  An important aspect of learning to love people, particularly our spouse and children, is taking the time to know them and to discover their unique priority of needs. If we truly want to care for our family members well, we have to understand how each person experiences love. We have to learn how to hit their relational bull’s-eye.

God’s plan for marriage involves a connectedness with one another, but how does that closeness happen?  How is it deepened and maintained? In the simplest of ways: Closeness happens in marriages and families when we learn to meet each other’s relationship needs.

Below is the list of the Top 10 Relational Needs.  Decide which of these you would most enjoy receiving from your spouse (choose three). Compare your lists.  

Top 10 Relational Needs
1. Attention                
2. Acceptance
3. Appreciation
4. Support
5. Encouragement
6. Affection
7. Respect
8. Security
9. Comfort     
10. Approval

My Top 3 Needs       ____________    ____________    ______________  

My Spouse’s Top 3   ____________    ____________   ______________

During this Marriage Staff Meeting, talk about the three needs you identified and explain why. I think my top needs are _________ because I feel loved when…

After you have discussed these needs, look for ways to start giving to each other. As you give, you’ll be demonstrating “sincere love to each other…as you “love each other deeply from the heart” (1 Peter 1:22). Now watch the love and intimacy grow! You’ll be hitting the bull’s-eye of your partner’s heart!

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