Making Touch Meaningful


Men and women have different needs when it comes to intimacy. These needs can be complimentary when approached correctly.

Couples need to create emotional bonding times. Keeping the flames of romance alive may not always seem as important as security or meaningful communication, but it is. Consistent positive times of emotional bonding can add tremendous stability to a home. Remaining tender during a trial is one of the most powerful ways to build an intimate relationship.

Touch has the power to instantly calm, reassure, transfer courage, and stabilize a situation beginning to spin out of control. With touch, we push back the threatening shadows of anger, bitterness, loneliness, and insecurity. Romantic touching and hugging can convey peace and comfort, as well as love. To the degree that we employ it with our mate, we remove the emotional threats that block intimacy.

Men nurture a forever marriage by finding out how their wives like to be touched, how often, when, and where.

Meaningful touching outside the bedroom can create sparks in a marriage, and meaningful communication can fan the flames. Most women report that they need to feel emotionally connected to enjoy physical intimacy. They need to feel loved and cherished. They need displays of physical affection, but not necessarily the sex act itself. Men, however, are motivated by the sexual act. They need sexual intimacy and state that physical affection and feeling cherished aren’t always necessary for them to feel sexually satisfied. However, men still need affection and cherishing in the overall relationship.

These are the four elements of marital intimacy:

  1. Unconditional security, a lifetime commitment to care for someone.
  2. Meaningful communication, daily sharing your feelings, needs, hopes, and dreams (and being a good listener when the other person speaks).
  3. Romantic experiences, setting your schedule to include intimate times together rather than letting the pressures of life set your schedule for you.
  4. Intimate touch, since 8 to 10 loving touches a day keep the marriage counselor away!

When used correctly, the differences in the way men and women respond to sex can complement each other. When not taken into consideration, these differences will tear apart the very fabric of your mutual fulfillment. Decide to stop waiting for things to get better. Only the two of you working together toward love will make the intimate difference. Acquire and practice new attitudes and skills that lead to fulfilling relationships.

Sex - The Male Perspective
Shaunti Feldhahn
God's Plan for Sex
Nick Floyd
Men Are Microwaves and Women Are Crockpots
Dr. Michael Smalley
Sizzling Hot Marriages
Jeff Schreve
Affair-Proofing Your Marriage
Jeff Schreve
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