Love Map Courtship
How beautiful and how delightful you are, my love, with all your charms! Song of Solomon 7:6, NASB
The Bible is complete in its instructions for life. The Song of Solomon gives us instruction in how to express our love in marriage. Solomon affirms that sexual pleasure in marriage is a gift from God, and he expresses his gratefulness for that fact.
Teresa and I have discovered that many couples find it hard to freely express their desires and preferences when it comes to sexual intimacy. So, in an effort to help couples become more comfortable in this area, we developed an exercise we call a "Love Map."
A Love Map exercise can deepen your courting of one another and bring about a special, passionate closeness. A Love Map exercise includes the following steps:
Consider what a perfect sexually intimate time with your spouse would include. List at least ten preferences, including timing, location, and clothing. Be as detailed and specific as possible.
After each of you has completed your Love Maps, choose a private time and place to exchange lists.
Discuss your Love Maps in as much detail as you feel comfortable. Answer one another's questions and clarify any points as necessary.
Finally, schedule two times of intimacy. Yes, plan these times of closeness. The planning can create an atmosphere of anticipation.
Enjoy one another! We suggest that husbands fulfill their wives' Love Map first. Then, as they had planned, the wife fulfills her husband's Love Map.
The Love Map exercise will help you learn or relearn how to court one another. Throughout the day, spend moments anticipating the pleasures of the two of you becoming one in the physical sense.
What step can you take today to help you more freely and comfortably express your sexual desires to your spouse?
Lord, teach my spouse and me to give all of ourselves to one another—spirit, soul, and body.