Love Is Not a Hole You Fall Into…


No matter how wonderful she is, at some point, your wife will fail to meet your expectations. That’s why love must be a choice.

Love is a choice you make. And it’s not always an easy choice. Often, I just don’t feel like loving my wife, especially when she disagrees with me. Or when she’s failed to do things I’ve asked her to do. Or when she’s got stuff for me to do that I’m not motivated toward. Or when she’s upset with me and points out all my flaws and failures.

I’d much rather have a wife that meets my exact desire at the exact right time.  I want her to have a new beautiful dress and makeup when we’re going to be around people I care about.  I want the best possible recipes prepared like Martha Stewart when we’re going to be with family or friends.  And of course, I want her to be sultry and sexy at bedtime, especially when the “mood is right.”

Problem is… all this is fantasy.  MY fantasy.

My wife can never meet all these expectations.  Heck, I can’t even verbalize some of them.

My wife is an individual who has the right to be herself. I must choose to love her just as she is! If I consistently show her my love, there’s a chance she’ll want to do things that please me at times.  But that has to be from God’s grace… not from a trade.

Your wife is going to disappoint you.  Face it.  The question is…

“How will I respond?”

Will I let my disappointment breed anger?

Or will I CHOOSE to love her. Volitionally. Intentionally. Regardless of how I feel.

Am I suggesting “fake it ‘til you make it?”


I’m suggesting you act on fact – not feeling. Fact is you love your wife and you committed to her for life. Don’t be distracted by how you feel. Make a decision to do something that shows her you love her. Then do it. Your feelings will follow.

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