You can have a match made in Heaven, but it requires that you put your needs aside for your spouse’s needs and demonstrate love in action.

Thousands of books and magazine articles claim to reveal the secrets of success to a good marriage. But when all is said and done, it is best to check with the real source, the creator of love and marriage, God. 

You can have a match made in Heaven, but it requires that you put your needs aside for your spouse’s needs and demonstrate love in action. The Word of God is filled with instructions on how to unlock true, God-inspired love in your marriage. And, He will guide you as you attempt to properly love your spouse and have a lasting relationship.

When God designed marriage, He created it to be permanent, exciting, meaningful and fulfilling. He did not intend for it to be disappointing, hurtful, boring and routine. Both husbands and wives have basic needs—attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, encouragement and support, respect and security. 

When one or more of those are missing, it can cause a spouse to have a “closed spirit”—unresolved anger that ultimately causes them to withdraw from every area in the relationship. This can be a major roadblock and even a deathblow to a marital union. 

Oftentimes a closed spirit is a result of the spouse not feeling loved because of disappointments and hurts. Wives can be guilty of being unloving to their husbands when they are disrespectful, domineering, distracted with other things, bitter about past hurts, lazy and unsupportive and co-dependent of destructive behavior. 

Husbands show they are not demonstrating love to their wives when they are domineering, passive in their leadership role, immoral, distracted or preoccupied by other things and lazy. These behaviors can further feed a closed spirit. 

Husbands need respect, first and foremost; words of encouragement, to feel as if their wives believe in and appreciate them; and feel as if their spouses are enthusiastically available to them sexually. Wives need to be complimented, placed above her husband’s job and hobbies, protected, comforted, supported at home, and valued by listening to her during decision making.   

When all is said and done, we must commit to showing our spouse that we love them, not just with the words we say, but by what we do.