Love and Singleness: A Paradox


Singleness can bring feelings of insignificance, but our lives as followers of Christ always have purpose.

Singleness doesn’t equate to loneliness, no matter how much it feels that way. A few months ago, I lost who I thought was the love of my life and still don’t fully know or understand why. And I want to know. I want to understand. I want to have all the pieces of the puzzle. But I don’t. What I do have is memories, pain, a broken heart and God’s promises; and that last element is absolutely the best thing to have right now.

The Lord is near to the broken-hearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. (Psalm 34: 18-19 ESV)

God promises that we are complete in Christ, (Colossians 2:10 NKJV) ; therefore, singleness does not mean insufficient or lack. We are just as complete single as we are dating, in relationships, or in marriage.

God has a way of showing us that no one can or will love us like He loves us. Sometimes we as women settle for love when we think we’ve found the best love, when the best love is only found in Christ. From childhood, we are conditioned to desire our prince charming, our knight in shining armor. We are fascinated by great love stories and “chick flicks” to where many of us have become hopeless romantics, but we are far from hopeless. We have already been a part of the greatest love story ever told, the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Singleness can bring feelings of insignificance, but our lives as followers of Christ always have purpose. God created each of us uniquely, and for a purpose. He knit us together in our mother’s womb, (Psalm 139:13 ESV) and even before we were born he consecrated us. (Jeremiah 1:5 ESV) God made us and said that we were good. Even when we became separated from Him because of our sin, He desired for us to be reconciled back to him. From our sin, we deserved death, but God loved us and because he loved us, He allowed his son, whom he loved dearly, who never sinned, to descend from his throne in heaven to walk amongst this tragic earth, live a life we should have lived but never could, and die a death we should have died by hanging from the cross. And then Christ gave us hope with his resurrection, freeing us from sin and death.

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. (John 15:13 ESV) 

We are never insignificant because Christ died for us and was resurrected. He didn’t die only for the woman in the thriving marriage. He died for the sick, broken, and insecure single woman. He tells us that we are a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. You shall no more be termed Forsaken… you shall be called My Delight Is in Her. (Isaiah 62:3-4 ESV)

Singleness doesn’t equate to loneliness.
Life without Christ equate to loneliness.
There is love in singleness.

By Randrea TaNiece

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