God has certainly created us with the capacity to bless our spouses by meeting their needs, but our expectations are to be directed toward God, not our spouses.
My God shall meet all your needs. Philippians 4:19, NIV
Andy and Patti came to us for help during their first year of marriage. Love had already died, and resentments had quenched romance.
During our first session we identified common but painful dynamics within Andy and Patti's relationship. Andy and Patti's expectations of one another were "killing them." Andy said, "Patti expects dinner out twice a week and a $300-a-month clothes budget, so I give to her whether or not we can afford it." Patti said, "Andy expects sex twice a week and my companionship at company functions, so I accommodate him whether or not I feel like it."
God has certainly created us with the capacity to bless our spouses by meeting their needs, but our expectations are to be directed toward God, not our spouses. God is the One who has promised to "meet all your needs." In His sovereignty, He may seek to involve your spouse in giving to you, but we are not to build our expectations around our spouses.
Andy and Patti were trapped in the painful bondage of trying to "take" from one another. We told them that God's desire, in contrast, was for them to trust Him with their needs, and that they would know they were trusting Him as they began to focus on meeting one another's needs.
Where do I direct my expectations for meeting valid human needs? God often involves others in ministering to my human need, but He wants my faith directed toward Him. Expecting God to meet needs in accordance with His Word will prompt a faith that He can work through others.
Andy and Patti began to give their own needs to God and give to each other.
What can you do today to begin trusting in God and not your spouse to meet your needs?
Thanks, Father, for Your provision, which frees me to give.