The chaplain asked, “Do you think the sudden death of a loved one or a “season of dying” is harder on a family?” He said that he and his buddies often discussed it and wondered what I thought.
I was sure in 1990 that the sudden death of my husband was the most difficult way to lose a loved one, but now I am not so sure.
My second husband has been diagnosed with stage four cancer. Watching the decline of someone you love creates anguish deep in your soul and spirit. It seems certain to me today that living yet dying is the hardest.
The chaplain shared that their perspective was that a “season of dying” was easier. It gave the person dying and the family time to say unsaid things, do things that needed to be done and make wrongs right.
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked.” – Steve Job’s Best quotes, The Wall Street Journal (8-24-11) posted 9/5/2011.
Death is a deadline; I don’t think that is a morbid thought, but a wise one. It makes me remember to count every day and to remember it counts big. With each new year, we should ask ourselves how will we make the big choices? Do our choices reflect pride or fear? Will we remember our audience of one?
Let's ask ourselves how can we live more intentionally daily? Are there people waiting to hear I love you? Are you holding a grudge? Remember to count your days!
Teach us to number our days carefully, so that we may develop wisdom in our hearts. Psalm 90:12
Written by Phyllis H. Hendry
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