Listening versus Hearing


In our everyday push to try to get our children to listen to us, we may ignore the aspects of our surroundings. Angie Ryg shares some advice on getting your daughter to listen to what you're saying.

Getting my teen daughter to listen to me has never been much of a problem. She is an easy going girl who is pretty responsible. But I know that may not always be the case or is the case for all daughters.  I was looking up how to get your child to listen and there are so many pages of advice, great ideas, and ways to make your child listen in a week!

One specific piece of advice stood out to me, not because of what it really taught me about my daughter, but more importantly, what it taught me about myself.

Psychology Today says, that if your child is not listening:

Realize they may not be ignoring you on purpose.”

“Research has shown that kids engaged in an activity, such as playing, reading, or gaming, often do not register other aspects of their surroundings.  They lack what is called “peripheral awareness.

This limited peripheral awareness may keep kids from registering what is happening around them–including a parent who is standing close by and talking to them–even when it appears that they couldn’t miss it.”

Peripheral awareness. It hit me as I read this that I suffer from this often.

In my push to get my child to listen to me or to get my agenda done around the house, I often do not let the other aspects of my surroundings play a part in my drive to get my to do list done.

The aspects of sitting down with my child and seeing how he or she feels.

The idea to use good eye contact and ask my child to expand on a part of his day that she was vague on in order to see if there was something deeper that may be troubling her.

And to repeat myself with not only the directions that I want her to follow, but the good things as well!  I know that words matter (link to my last post), but sometimes we, as parents, have to make sure that these words are actually heard.

Erin Bishop, the founder of Whatever Girls is affectionately called Noah because of her faith, but I would like to add that it is also because she listens. She listens to wisdom when she is making decisions for this ministry and she listens when God reminds her that “God’s Word does not return void-especially the Words He has spoken over me, and that He makes a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

Let us grab on to the words spoken over us and know them deep in our souls.

I would encourage all of us to not let our peripheral surroundings distract us from listening to what God is telling us –that  we are worthy and He has a purpose for our lives.

And may we share that truth with our daughters in beautiful ways that they may hear and understand and then live to serve Him for His glory.

For to hear that the King is calling His princesses to greatness will make our daughters desire to serve Him with all they do.

What are some creative ways that you use to make sure that your daughter hears what you are saying?

Written by Angie Ryg

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